Reconstruction
by mliess
Summary: "Lauren Lewis embarks on an adventure, taking on a new job in an exotic paradise. She never expected to run into the one person who broke her heart all those years ago." Doccubus, AU-story, Human, M-rating eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Reconstruction (- Of the Heart)**

 _Author's note:_

 _Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Lost Girl-characters; I'm just borrowing them for a little while._

 _AU-story, Doccubus, Human,_ _M-rating eventually._

 _"Lauren Lewis embarks on an adventure, taking on a new job in an exotic paradise. She never expected to run into the one person who broke her heart all those years ago."_

 _The POV will alternate throughout the story; I hope it won't get too confusing._

 _This is my first time writing a Lost Girl story, I hope you like it! Enjoy!_

 _/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Lauren Lewis was a driven woman. She always had been and it was something she took great pride in.

She had exceled in everything she had set her mind to. She could have been a star athlete; running long distance for her high school team gave her several scholarship offers across the country. But it was medicine that had won her heart over. She easily got accepted at Harvard and graduated at the top of her class.

She had taken on the most challenging field she could find, excelling in a way unheard of, at her young age, earning great respect among her older colleagues. From the time she had graduated and to this day, she hadn't had one single sick-day or taken more than a couple of days off. She lived and breathed her work. Her personal life had taken the backseat, to the degree that it was essentially non-existent.

Sure, she saw her mom and dad a couple of times every year, and she got the occasional phone-call from her brother, but other than that, there was nothing aside from work.

When hospital regulations hindered her from clocking too many hours with patients or in the OR, she began her research; writing dozens of papers, giving lectures that people flew in from all corners of the world to listen to.

At the young age of 29, Dr. Lauren Lewis was a renowned expert in the field of cardiology and more specifically, congenital heart diseases. She performed complicated surgeries on newborn babies who had different birth defects concerning the heart. She was constantly evolving the techniques and she tried to take on as many fellows as she could; they, of course, all worshipped the ground she walked on. Not that she noticed or cared much for that though. She got more than her share of indecent proposals, from her male and female students and colleagues alike, but she quickly brushed them off, telling them to get back to work. The work was what mattered.

Most nights she slept in her office, she didn't even bother going home. There was nothing there for her. On the times she did take her mind off of work she usually watched a movie or she went out for a long run. During those she usually mulled over something in her research or how to proceed on a difficult case. It was almost impossible for her to turn her mind off and just… be.

Over the years she'd had the occasional one-night stands but that was all they were. Some of them persisted, trying to get a second date with her, but she always declined.

Even though Dr. Lewis couldn't see it herself, she was easy to love. Her big heart – however she tried to hide and imprison it, was on display for the world to see, and once bitten she was hard to get over.

However sought after she was and however high the praises for her were, her body was starting to object to her insistent working. She had started to get these headaches, really intense ones, and tingling sensations in her hands and feet. She had woken up on the floor, disoriented and dizzy, twice now in the last couple of days. She had gathered that she'd passed out from sheer exhaustion. Thankfully she had been alone, so no one had been there to see it. In the back of her head she knew she had to do something - and probably soon.

She had spread herself thin, giving all of her time and energy to her patients, her colleagues, her fellows, and her research. She'd always thought that she could just keep at it like a machine… but something had to give. The last couple of weeks had been a struggle. To get up in the morning, to eat… she was beginning to realize that maybe she couldn't live on just work, alone. Maybe the human body needed something else. She didn't like the thought one bit, but as a doctor she knew the hard truth.

* * *

"Dr. Lewis, a phone call for you on line 3." The nurse gently nudged the blonde doctor, waking her from her reverie, and handed her the phone.

"Yes, Dr. Lewis speaking. " Lauren answered, sounding slightly distracted. She continued reading the charts in her hand.

"Dr. Lauren Lewis? It's so nice to speak to you. My name is Hale Santiago, and I work for the Ash Corporation. I would like to talk to you about a proposition we have for you. When would be a good time for us to have a sit down and discuss the details?"

This caught the blonde doctor's attention.

"A proposition? What kind, if I may ask?"

"Well, the details are somewhat sensitive, but it concerns your work and my… employer would like to make you an offer you probably won't be able to refuse." Lauren's brow furrowed. _'What is this, a Godfather movie, part 4?'_

"Would tomorrow evening, at six o'clock, be all right with you?" Hale continued.

Lauren wasn't this easily swayed. "I'm very busy, send me an e-mail and I'll read through the proposition when I have the time."

She got at least one or two job offers a week so this was not something new, she was rather tired of it actually, but she always tried to be as polite as she could, she didn't like burning bridges if she didn't have good reason to.

"Well, I don't have authorization to do that Dr. Lewis. Is there anything I can say to persuade you to take this meeting in person? Mr. Ash himself has told me that he will come out to meet with you at whatever time you deem fit. Between you and me, he has never uttered those words before, ever. He is, much like you, very busy, with a multi-billion dollar corporation; he doesn't make time for anyone. Well, except for you, I guess. "

Lauren could hear the wonder in his voice, he seemed quite chocked himself.

She never budged for anyone, so this was a struggle for her. But now her interest was peaked, what in the world could Mr. Ash of the world famous Ash Corp. possible want with her?

"…ok. I'll meet with him." She could hear the man on the other side of the line exhale, relieved.

They set a time for the meeting and she got off the phone. She glanced down at the time and realized her next surgery would start in ten minutes. She felt an onslaught of tiredness and suddenly felt lightheaded. She grabbed hold of the wall next to her to steady herself, squeezing her eyes shut in the process. Feeling her senses returning to her after a couple of seconds she hurried off, the recent phone call still spinning around in her head.

* * *

 _Chapter 2 will be up soon!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She looked out the window, seeing the large wing spread out towards the sun. She always felt so small, so insignificant, being this high up in the air. The man next to her had fallen asleep as soon as they've taken off. But sleep eluded her; she couldn't seem to find any peace of mind.

How she ended up here, sitting on this rather large aircraft, heading in to the unknown, was a long story.

* * *

Before her meeting with Mr. Ash she had taken the time to go see one of the few people she dared to call her friend, one that also happened to be her personal physician.

Tamsin looked up from her computer screen, looking rather grim. They were sitting in her private clinic and Lauren knew she was looking at the results of her various blood tests along with her EKG and blood pressure.

"So, what's the verdict Doctor?" Lauren tried to calm her raging nerves by joking; it did nothing to lighten up the mood of her friend and colleague.

"Lauren, I think you know what I'm going to say." Tamsin leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms at her chest.

"Your blood-pressure is through the roof, your EKG shows signs of angina, my guess it's stress induced. Your cortisol levels are low…. You BMI is dangerously low… you say you have trouble sleeping…. are you eating at all these days? All of this tells me, and should tell you, that your body is saying 'Hell no!' to this life you're leading. You get that right?!" Tamsin was practically yelling now, anger and fear tainting her voice.

Lauren quickly brushed away a stray tear threatening to fall from her eye. This was serious. She'd seen what stress can do to the heart, in her patients. She never thought it would happen to her.

Tamsin, who had seen the tears Lauren tried to hide, calmed down and went to sit next to the blonde, placing a careful arm around her.

"Lauren, I know you, you are the smartest person I have ever met. You know that all of this can easily be reversed if you only slow down a bit. You can't save the whole world; you don't have to. You need to start saving yourself; I can't do that for you. You need to start living, outside of work, and I know that thought terrifies you to the extent of a horror-movie but that's what you have to do. It wouldn't kill you to have a little fun? Not having fun, on the other hand, that is what will kill you in the end. You just have to discover what you think is fun… right?"

Tamsin knew she was laying it on thick, but she had to make Lauren see.

Lauren only nodded as she held on to her friend as she wept, she was terrified, but she knew something had to change from here on out.

* * *

Thinking back on that moment, Lauren struggled to keep fresh tears from escaping her eyes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 _'_ _This is just what the doctor ordered, right? I'm slowing down, I'm going to try to have at least a little fun…nothing wrong with that, right?'_

She opened her eyes as self-doubt seeped through, for the eleventh hundred time during this flight.

' _What have I gotten myself into… oh, God… don't start to second-guess yourself now, Lauren… just go with it… envision it… fake it 'til you make it…. Oh, great, now I'm talking to myself again…. Note to self: Don't do that!'_

She rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck from side to side in an attempt to work out the kinks there, having accumulated them from the long flight. Finally she heard the captain of plane call out in the speakers that they all should take their seats as they were about to land.

 _'_ _Here goes nothing…'_

* * *

"Dr. Lewis?"

Lauren looked up, a bit startled by hearing her name being called out. She'd been lost in thought, once more second-guessing her choice to come here.

Standing in front of her, by the exit of the airport, was a handsome man with a kind face.

"Mr. Santiago?" She had been told that Hale would come pick her up from the airport, she hoped it was him. He nodded in confirmation.

She smiled and continued. "Hi, it's so nice to meet you! In person I mean, 'cause we met, through the phone, I mean… which you know, of course, 'cause you were there…" She stopped her rambling, looking at her feet, blushing slightly. Hale wore an amused grin on his face, evidently entertained by the sudden onslaught of words coming out of the blonde doctor.

"I'm sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous… which if you knew me, isn't that often really…" She dared to glance up at Hale and was relieved to see him smiling.

"It's nice to see you too, Dr. Lewis, in person as well." He chuckled and gave her a sly grin. "And welcome to the big island of Hawaii! Let me grab your luggage and follow me, I'll take you to our car outside. Put on those sunglasses, the sun is in full force…. Well, all the time really, don't you just love it!" He indicated for her to step outside, into a wall of humidity. She brought her glasses down to shield her eyes, this was going to be an adventure; one she mostly dreaded, but there was a small part of her that had begun longing for it. But only a small part.

* * *

The first thing that had surprised her was the large white limo standing outside, the driver was holding up the door for both her and Hale to get in.

The second surprise was that once inside the nicely air conditioned car she was suddenly seated right across from her new employer, Lachlan Ash.

He was all smiles and stretched out his hand for her to shake, which she did.

"Welcome Dr. Lewis! It's so great to see you again! You look absolutely radiant, if I may say so! I hope your flight here was comfortable?"

"Mr. Ash, I… thank you, it's nice to see you again, as well." Trying to recover from the shock, she forced a smile.

"And the flight was… bumpy, but I'm alive… so that is great!" The two men smiled at this and Lauren groaned internally for her verbal diarrhea. _'Always at the wrong time…'_

She felt oddly out of her element. She usually had a perfect air of professionalism about her, speaking calmly and she was always well prepared for anything she did, may it be a lecture in front of thousands of colleagues from around the globe or during a surgery on a small child. But this, this was something she couldn't study for, or prepare for. She just needed to let it happen.

She tried to calm her nerves by taking a deep breath. She wasn't really prepared for meeting Lachlan Ash again like this, in a limo. She rubbed her palms together, a nervous tick she had.

She had heard of the mogul a long time prior to their recent interactions, leading her here. Apart from the various companies and TV-networks he owned, he also had built a large chain of five-star hotels across the States. The most exclusive one placed on the island of Hawaii, where he and his family also resided.

They continued to small-talk while heading towards their destination. The blonde tried her hardest to keep up with the conversation, even though she was exhausted from the flight.

* * *

 _I hope you like it so far, there's more to come... An encounter that will rattle the good Doctor perhaps? Chapter 3 will be up soon! /mliess_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The ride was soon over as they had reached "The Ash Hotel". The driver lowered the speed of the car as they approached the main gate.

The hotel area was beautiful and stretched along the beach and had a variety of different bungalows, regular hotel rooms and small mansions; all of them looking more exclusive than the next.

The limo stopped and the driver got out and opened the door for them. They were soon standing outside the main entrance and Hale informed her that her luggage would be in her living quarters upon her arrival. But first Lachlan wanted her to see her new workplace.

The walked through the building and out on the other side where a large pool area was situated. And beyond that was a beautiful beach. Lauren, who had never been on a vacation before, only a few conferences at various resorts, but nothing she'd ever seen had looked as gorgeous as what she was now staring at. She picked up her jaw from the tile and followed Hale and Lachlan. Beyond the pool area and closer to the beach she saw the entrance to the clinic.

Lachlan turned to Lauren, looking almost giddy with excitement.

"Like we agreed you will have a couple of weeks off to settle in and get used to the new pace, but I couldn't help but show you this, they finished it up last week and in my humble opinion it looks great! Please, come inside and see what you think!"

Lauren followed him and Hale into the medical clinic.

She stood in awe. It did look fantastic. Everything was new; it still smelled of fresh paint. The walked into the exam-room and true to his words all the equipment she'd asked for was there. Portable ex-ray, ultrasound machine and so on. In the next, larger, room there was a complete lab area with anything she could think of. _'This is really awesome'_ she thought, feeling more and more excited by the second.

"So, as I told you, you will be the chief doctor of this clinic, which is for the hotel guests and staff. You will have two doctors working for you, and three nurses. Those numbers are of course negotiable. I've taken the liberty to search for suitable candidates for you to interview; there are some résumés on your desk for you to look at when you are ready. Take some time to think about what you need and interview the ones you want. Does that sound fair?"

She nodded. It felt like a relief only to have five people working with her. She'd had up to 7 fellows which she had to take care of, plus her usual workload and research… so this should be easy. And she got to hand pick them herself. Her head was spinning. _'What is happening, it can't be this easy…?'_

Once Lauren got out of her inner monologue she found both Hale and Lachlan staring, amused, at her. "Oh, sorry, I just, I'm… I'm a bit overwhelmed I suppose. I'm really excited about this, though." She smiled weakly, again looking at her feet. Forcing herself to look up that them again she saw understanding in both of their eyes. Lachlan approached her, placing his hand on her left shoulder.

"Look, Dr. Lewis, I brought you here because I know you are the best person suited for the job. This is the place where you belong. I have such a good feeling about this, in my gut. You have a new lab to conduct all the tests and _whatever_ you want, all the resources that you need at your disposal. The hours you'll put in here is nothing compared to the ones you did at Mayo. You _are_ allowed to enjoy yourself while you're here, don't forget that. And I also want you to hire a personal assistant, to you whatever you don't want or have time for. I want you rested and happy. That's how I've gotten this far you know. My first concern is always my staff, the company's earnings comes in second place; works every time!"

Lauren smiled gently, feeling inspired by his small speech. "You're really something Mr. Ash, I will not let you down. "

He nodded and continued. "I understand you feeling overwhelmed but take the time to settle in. Dr. Samson will stay on for a couple of weeks more, before his retirement, so you'll have time to adjust and hire the ones you want on your team." He winked at her and squeezed her shoulder before stepping away from her again.

* * *

After the tour, Lachlan took his leave and Hale escorted her to her living quarters. It was only a two minute walk from the clinic, which she found was very convenient, especially when she'd be on call.

Her jaw dropped once more the second Hale unlocked and opened her front door.

She took a few tentative steps inside the spacious bungalow, her head spinning. It was a two-room apartment, a spacious kitchen open into the living room and both her living room and bedroom facing and overlooking the beach and ocean.

"Mr. Santiago, are you sure we're in the right place? I mean, just the view alone must be worth… I mean…" Lauren had officially lost her vocabulary.

"First, please, Dr. Lewis, call me Hale. " He smiled at her. "Secondly, yes, I am sure. You will find that Mr. Ash is an extremely generous man. Sure, he's a trough-and-through business man, but as he said; he takes good care of his own." Again, Lauren could only nod in agreement. Her head still spinning from the whirlwind day she's still having.

"Now, have a good evening, Dr. Lewis" He was stopped by the blonde as she spoke.

"I'll call you Hale, but only if you'll call me Lauren…" she smiled at him gratefully.

"Ok, Dr… Lauren" he winked at her. "If and when you feel like eating you just use the card in the care-package that's placed on the kitchen-counter. Think of it as an all-inclusive card, there is also a list of the various places you can use it for. Have fun and I'll pick you up later, say 8-ish. You still haven't met Kenzi, Mr. Ash's daughter. She's a hoot and a half, but prepare yourself, she's got a mouth on her, I might just have to get you the 'Kenzi-vocabulary', she's like no other!"

With that Hale left and closed the door behind him.

Lauren exhaled and drew her fingers through her blonde hair, trying to process all the information and impressions that had been thrown at her the last two hours. She was thoroughly beat.

She decided to step outside. She walked up to the giant glass door separating her living room and the beautiful stone deck. She was somewhat surprised because from the inside she had failed to see the Jacuzzi that was lowered into the deck. There was also a table and few chairs next to the small pool and a large parasol that was protecting the sitting area from the sun.

She'd seen these kind of luxurious places on TV or in magazines but she had never taken the time off from work to book a plane ticket and just go. She had the money; she'd just never had the time. But maybe she could get used to this, sitting in her Jacuzzi with a glass of wine, looking out at the sunset. The thought was ridiculous, but it could happen.

Under her breath she mumbled "Oh, my God, what have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

Lauren awoke startled. She had fallen asleep, face down into her pillow, while trying out her new bed and had not set an alarm. Her heart racing, she turned her head to look at the time. '7:20' the clock said in angry red numbers. Hale would come pick her up soon and she needed to shower first. She quickly got up and stripped down before stepping into the bathroom.

* * *

"Knock-knock, Doc!" Lauren headed for the door and she could hear Hale chuckling at his own joke.

She pulled the door open and greeted him.

"Hey, I was just finishing up, let me just grab my purse." She retreated into the kitchen, grabbing the bag and reappeared in front of Hale again.

Not knowing exactly what to wear she had gone for the neutral choice. A proper off-white, sleeveless dress, that fit her nicely, ending just below the knee. It wasn't too dressy yet not too casual. She really didn't know what to expect, meeting Mackenzie Ash for the first time. _'Had Hale called her Kenzi before? I'll have to ask him again…"_ She was after all going to be her main physician so looking proper couldn't hurt, right? Though she really wanted the 22-year old woman to like her; it would make her job so much easier and more pleasant if 'Kenzi' co-operated.

"You look great Doc! Shall we go meet 'the beast'?" Hale exclaimed and laughed as he turned and indicated for her to follow. She was unsure if he was kidding but she would just have to find out.

Lauren shut the door behind her and stepped out into the small street where a sort of golf-cart awaited her. She got in, sitting beside Hale.

They rode down the narrow streets and stopped in front of a bungalow, similar to the one she had, but larger and this was placed at least 50 feet from the closest neighbor, with palm trees covering its sides. _'Of course Ash's daughter had a secluded place…'_ Lauren quickly thought while getting out of the cart and following Hale up to the front door.

"Hey, little mama, open up for Hale, the Doc is here to see you!" He said as he knocked on the door repeatedly. Lauren didn't really know what to make of this man. He was all proper and in business mode while in the company of Mr. Ash but now she was beginning to see who he really was underneath it all. She decided that she really liked him and his relaxed self. She was curious to find out what kind of relationship he had with Ms. Ash.

"What the hell, Hale!" A petit, Goth-looking woman tore the door open. She looked pissed and Lauren took a small step back, half hiding behind Hale.

"I've told you, knock once, and I'll come open up when I feel like it, got it?!" They kept staring at each other, no smiles, and stone faces. The blonde wished someone would just say something.

After a beat, they both cracked up, laughing, and Hale leaned in for a quick hug. "Hey, Kenzi, I'd like you to meet Dr. Lauren Lewis. " He stepped aside and let Lauren get into full view for the smaller girl. "Dr. Lewis, Lauren, this is Mackenzie Ash, but she'd prefer if you just call her Kenzi."

"It's really nice to meet you, Kenzi." Lauren smiled and stretched out her hand, which Kenzi looked suspiciously at for a second, but then she reluctantly took it and they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, Doc. Can I call you Doc?" Lauren was taken aback with Kenzi's general nonchalance but decided to go with it and told her it was perfectly fine.

"So, come in, make yourself at home. My better-ish half will be down in a few minutes. She just got in from a quick surf, that girl loves the waves!" The petit girl plonked down onto the large sofa and motioned for them to take a seat. She threw her feet up on the table. Lauren momentarily wondered if Kenzi had a girlfriend or who it was she was referring too, but she would probably find out soon.

"So, Doc, I'm sure my dear father has given you my charts and whatever, and told you to keep me on a tight leash. I don't really care what he's told you or how much money he's tossed at you; I will not be probed and prodded by you every day. I will come to your clinic when I choose to and feel like it. Is that clear?" She gave Lauren a hard stare, not much unlike the one she'd given Hale outside.

"Hm… Well, I would like if we can discuss this more…." Lauren started. Walking a thin line between trying to be diplomatic yet testing the shark-infested waters this girl had turned out to surround herself with.

"Now, now, Kenz, we talked about this…" Lauren was cut off by a strangely familiar voice, coming from the stairs to her right. The woman, probably this surfing-friend Kenzi had previously referred to, spoke again, her voice getting closer as she descended down the stairs, still hidden from Lauren's sight.

"…you were going to listen to the Doctor and try to co-operate this ti-…" The woman reached the final stair simultaneously as Lauren stood up and turned around, their eyes connecting.

"Lauren…?" The evidently shocked woman whispered. But the blonde heard her. Electricity filled the now silent room.

"Bo…"

* * *

 _Please tell me what you think, reviews makes me want to update faster... ;) /mliess_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Previously:_

 _"_ _Lauren…?" The evidently shocked woman whispered. But the blonde heard her. Electricity filled the now silent room._

 _"_ _Bo…"_

* * *

Lauren felt as though she was going to pass out. She reached out to grab hold of the closest wall for support. She found herself having trouble breathing, the dizziness returning in full force. Bo was standing right in front of her, looking at her. _'This isn't real, it can't be…'_ Lauren blinked. The brunette was still there, her big, gorgeous, chocolate-brown eyes still fixed on her.

"Lauren, what… what are you doing here?" The brunette looked shocked; her voice had an air of wonder to it, like she didn't really believe what she was seeing, either. Her eyes danced around the blonde woman who was equally rattled by the encounter.

Lauren struggled to find her voice again; stumbling to explain "I'm…" she shook her head, trying to sort through all the different shades of emotion she was feeling.

She locked eyes with Bo once more, standing up straight as she tried again.

"I'm… Ms. Ash's doctor and the hotel's new lead physician." Her voice grew stronger with every syllable.

"Oh…" Was the only thing Bo could get out.

"What are _you_ doing here?" The blonde asked incredulous, the air grew thicker with the emotions in the words spoken.

Bo opened her mouth to answer but before she could start, Kenzi's voice invaded her ears.

"Woah, wait a minute… hold up!"

Bo looked at the petit woman, who in turn could see the storm behind Bo's eyes. But that didn't stop her questions from tumbling out.

"What the hell is going on Bo-Bo? Do you know Doc here? How?"

Bo looked from Kenzi, to Hale, and finally back to Lauren, who was feeling a bit nauseous, her palm still resting against the wall. But she could see that the blonde struggled to stand her ground.

"Well, we kind of…" She looked guilty up at Lauren.

"Oh, man, please tell me you haven't _banged_ my new doctor before she even started her first day here?!" Kenzi threw her arms up in the air, dramatically, and stamped up to the brunette, taking her place next to her. She turned to Lauren, who, if possible, looked even more confused after that statement.

"Doc… Lauren, please forgive my friend here, she's got powers she's not even aware off. I mean, look at that face." She grabbed hold of Bo's jaw and squeezed; her cheeks and lips getting mushed together. "She's gorgeous, we all know that, and it's her curse. It's hard to say no to this! Even more so when she puts the girls on display…" She gave Lauren a sympathetic look. Kenzi let go of Bo's face, who in turn, glared at the smaller woman.

"So, please, don't make my father suffer for her actions, don't leave and make him find someone else to replace you. I think we all can get a long… right?" She nodded enthusiastically, looking from Bo to Lauren, who both were just staring at her at this point.

Lauren found her voice. "Kenzi, Bo and I…. we never, I mean….I, we… mmm…" The good doctor blushed just thinking about it, if Bo noticed she didn't let on. Lauren took a deep breath, ridding herself from the onslaught of the less-than-innocent images that had invaded her mind after Kenzi's assumption.

"Kenzi, we have never slept together if that is what you're insinuating?"

"Oh, you didn't?" She looked more shocked from this fact compared to when she thought that they _had_ done the horizontal 'deed', Lauren thought.

"No, Kenz…" Bo chimed in. "we kinda grew up together; I was… engaged to her brother…"

Bo averted her eyes from the blonde's at this and Lauren could felt her chest tighten, once again finding it hard to breath. She knew that tears were threatening to spill and she bit her lower lip, trying to stop the flood.

 _'_ _Don't cry, do not… cry… not in front of her… She looks just the same, just as beautiful, the same kind, warm eyes… the same presence…. I can't do this, I have to get out. She's here, I can't…'_

The blonde closed her eyes, and tried to collect herself. When she opened them again she went into doctor-mode, the professional ice queen role she had perfected during the years. She wouldn't let Bo get to her; she wouldn't let her destroy this, her new life.

The brunette seemed taken aback by the sudden change in Lauren's demeanor. Giving her one last cold glare she forced herself to look away from Bo, and her sights landed on Kenzi once more, a hard smile on her lips.

"Ok, so, I should go, it was nice to meet you Kenzi, there will be no problem here, and I would like to see you first thing next Tuesday at 09.00 am at the clinic for a first check-up."

Before the petit girl even had time to respond, Lauren headed for the door, tossing an "It was nice to see you again Hale, Bo, take care now." over her shoulder.

She closed the door behind her and almost crumbled to the ground. She slid down the door and sat down on the front stair. Hiding her face in her palms she drew in a few deep, ragged breaths. She suddenly realized that they could come through that door any second and find her like this. She struggled to get up and with shaky legs she turned right on the road and headed to her new home.

* * *

Back at the house it was dead silent. "Ok, that wasn't weird and awkward at all… nope…" Hale suddenly exclaimed.

Bo sat down, heavily, at the first step of the stairs. Her mind was spinning. Lauren was here. She hadn't seen her since…

 _'_ _oh my… she's here… she's really here. Lauren. I'm going to have to explain things to her. Or, I can just avoid her for the rest of my life… I was doing so great, doing just that, right up 'til five minutes ago….and she looked so confused…and hurt. And angry… of course, she has every right to be angry. She probably won't even want to hear my explanation…. What is my explanation anyway? I don't even know what I would say… oh, God…and then her eyes turned to ice, and she just left. But she looked so good, she's always been beautiful but now… wow… ok. Do NOT go there… she will kill you, if you're lucky…'_

"So, who's up for pizza?" Bo tried her best playing chipper, to avoid explaining this to her friends. Her relationship to Lauren was complicated, to say the least, but the look in Kenzi's eyes told her that this was a conversation they were having, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

 _Chapter 5 will be up later today... /mliess_


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's note: this chapter will alternate between Lauren and Bo's POV, hopefully it's not too difficult to follow._

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

Lauren had tried her best to stay clear from Ms. Ash '… _and Bo…'_ for the last couple of days. She had ordered room service so she didn't have to leave her room and risk running into them. She had dared to go down to the ocean and taking a quick dip every day, how could she deny herself that?

But other than that she had stayed at her place. She tried reading a novel but it had been so long since she read anything that wasn't related to medicine she found it hard to get through. She had looked through the résumés of the people she wanted to hire and set up meetings next week with the most promising candidates. Other than that she hadn't done anything work-related. The blonde felt… relieved, well, barring the 'Bo'-situation. She hadn't looked at her e-mail inbox in one week, just thinking about the vast amount of e-mails she would have to go though was enough to peak her blood pressure and cause her coronary arteries to spasm.

Today however, Hale had called her to inform her of a dinner that Mr. Ash were throwing for her tonight and he wouldn't take no for an answer. It would be a small gathering, family only, she'd been told. She really hoped that Bo wouldn't be there. She didn't know if she could sit across from her at the dinner table and not… interact. Well, she would just have to try. She didn't really want to cause a scene in front of everyone.

* * *

She opted for a black, simple dress with a cut that showed of her neckline. Hale picked her up and escorted her to the dinner, which was held at the most luxurious restaurant on the island; of course owned by Mr. Ash.

Arriving just in time, after having marveled at the perfect view the place had, they walked onto the large patio where a reserved part of the restaurant had been secluded only for them.

Lachlan stood up to greet her. Smiling, he took her hand and kissed her cheek. He turned her to the woman already sitting at the table. "Lauren, this beauty is my wife, Evony." Lauren reached across the table to shake the other woman's hand. "Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Ash." She smiled and released her hand as Lachlan indicated for Lauren to take a seat next to him.

"The pleasure is all mine, Dr. Lewis, welcome to Hawaii. And I have to say, what a lovely dress you're wearing." The brunette eyed her up and down, making the doctor somewhat uncomfortable but she thanked her.

Before anyone could say anything else Kenzi's voice rang out from the opening to the patio. "All hail, the queen has arrived!" She curtsied slowly and dramatically, making her father sigh. "Sorry we're a bit late, I had a fight with the straightening iron… but its dead now."

She stepped closer to the table and behind her Bo revealed herself. Lauren groaned internally. _'Sure, of course she would come… don't look at her, don't talk to her… pretend she's someone else…'_ She dared a quick observation of the brunette, who looked more than amazing in a tight black dress, which accentuated her… assets… wonderfully. On top of that she had her makeup down to perfection with smokey eyes that made the blonde look away as soon as they met hers.

"Yes, sorry Lachlan, Evony, and thanks for inviting me tonight." Bo nodded towards the couple. Then her eyes landed on the blonde seated next to Lachlan. "Dr. Lewis, it's nice to see you again." Her voice and her eyes softened visibly as she spoke to Lauren. The blonde nodded. "Nice to see you too… is it still Ms. McCorrigan or…?" She inquired, her words not as softly spoken as Bo's. The brunette could see the familiar muscle in Lauren's strong jaw twitch, and she knew this wasn't easy for her.

"Yes, it is. Never had any reason to change it…. I mean…." Bo closed her eyes momentarily, realizing her poor choice of words. "I mean, yes, it's still McCorrigan…" Lauren had already averted her eyes from her, now focusing on her wineglass instead of the brunette, who took a seat next to Kenzi. _'Me and my foot-in-mouth decease…why did I have to say that?! Now she hates me even more… she can't even look at me…'_ Bo huffed in resignation.

Lachlan, standing up, tapped his glass with his fork, getting everyone's attention.

"Friends, family, now that we are all gathered; this is the renowned Dr. Lauren Lewis, who has, to my great happiness, accepted to come work here with us. I am in awe of her previous work and I'm most certain that she will work her magic at the lab and the clinic. I hope you all enjoy this evening and of course the delicious food! So, I'd like to make a toast, and welcome the lovely Dr. Lewis, Lauren, into our flock. May you find peace and happiness here, Aloha!" He raised his glass, as did all of them, repeating the Hawaiian welcoming phrase.

"Thank you, all, I'm very happy to be here." Lauren humbly said, a tint of blushing covering her cheeks.

* * *

Soon the conversation was flowing and they were well into their second course of the evening.

"So…" Lachlan said and leaned closer to Lauren. "I couldn't help but get the feeling that you and Bo knew each other from before, am I correct in my assumptions?" He sat his fork down, waiting for Lauren to reply.

She swallowed hard before answering. "Yes, you are correct." She glanced in Bo's direction, who also had heard his question and turned her attention to them along with the rest of the table. Lauren hesitated but continued slowly, feeling all eyes were on her now, and most intense of all a certain brunette's. She dared to glance her way and caught her eye, finding it difficult to read her expression at that moment.

"Bo and I went to high school together. Well, together is a broad description." She chuckled dryly. "I was the geek who had skipped two years ahead in junior high school, and that didn't really do wonders for my social life… and so I went to high school alongside my brother and Bo … And, Bo, she…" she glanced away from the intense stare of the brunette and turned towards Lachlan. "…was the beautiful, popular, girl who dated my older brother…" the blonde forced a weak smile, tightening her jaw.

Bo's eyes went wide. _'Oh, God, was that how she saw our… relationship? Wait, did she really just call me beautiful?'_

Lauren continued, getting lost in her memories. "So… We weren't exactly friends. At one point I thought so… But… Well, we knew of each other… " She looked up at the brunette again, a hint of sadness in her eyes, but a second later it was gone.

Bo didn't even know what to say but she felt an urgent need to express how wrong the blonde had described them, and suddenly the words came flowing out of her mouth.

"Actually, Lauren tutored me for a while; I was falling behind in math and biology so Jack suggested that I should ask his little sister for her help, the genius." She smiled remembering Lauren as a sixteen year old girl. Those thick rimmed glasses she used to wear… she couldn't believe that that shy little girl was actually sitting in front of her now, a renowned surgeon and doctor… Well, she could actually believe it; she had known it all along, what greatness the blonde would amount to.

Lauren had always been beautiful and strong, inside and out, even at sixteen. Bo just hoped she had come to realize all those things herself by now, because back then she was clueless of her qualities.

Bo had to close her eyes momentarily and swallow before she continued.

"So I asked and… she was kind enough to help me, even though I think she hated every second of it 'cause I was kind of dense back then… but she was so great and sweet, she explained things so well…not once did she make me feel stupid or…." Bo paused, trying to find the words.

Lauren's heart was beating fast and she felt all those old emotions, all the memories that she'd tried so hard to push down for such a long time, staring to resurface. Hearing Bo speak so fondly of her, and seeing the smile on her face as she described her… it made her feel things she shouldn't, things she couldn't feel.

She heard Bo continue. "Lauren was actually the person who got me interested in programming in the first place." The brunette said matter-of-factly and turned to Kenzi, who nodded, seemingly impressed. Lauren was suddenly confused; not really knowing how it was relevant.

"You go, Doc, you did good then!" Kenzi grinned and exclaimed, giving Lauren two thumbs up.

"Yeah, do you remember, Lauren, you were telling me about integrals or something math-y, and you glided over to talking about computers and how they worked, ending up explaining how you could write different computer languages, C++ and Java, and then how to create simple programs." Lauren nodded, her brow furrowed, still not knowing where this all was going but she actually remembered the tutoring-session Bo was talking about.

"Well, I made you show me how, and in return, for me ruining your whole evening; which you probably had better plans for, I promised to drive you to and from school for a week." Bo giggled, remembering it fondly.

Lauren smiled softly, and spoke for the first time, addressing the topic. "Yeah, but you ended up wanting me to teach you about programming after every tutoring session after that so…" She turned to the others at the table.

"So, I never had to walk another day for the rest of our senior year!" Lauren laughed, and Bo joined in, both of them half-lost in memories. Lauren suddenly realized that she was sitting here, sharing information, laughing with Bo, of all people. She quickly sobered up, cleared her throat and asked. "You kind of lost me, why is the fact that I taught you about programming such a big deal?" She tried not to sound harsh but it was a struggle.

It was Kenzi who spoke up. "Oh, you don't know? Bo here, my guuurl and I have our own videogame production company! Ever heard of a game called Zombie Hookers? I came up with that name by the way… We just released the 3rd game in that series. Bo-Bo works her programming magic and I help with design, plots… voiceovers… and all the production details. We are becoming a big name in the industry." At this Lachlan spoke up. "Aside from the fantastic title it's actually a joy to play." He beamed with pride at his daughter.

To say that Lauren was surprised would be an understatement. She was also mighty impressed. "Well, I've actually heard of that game, my fellow's used to play it during slow night shifts in the lab. I don't know what to say. Congratulations on your success…" She looked directly at Bo while saying this, smiling, and for the first time the smile reached her eyes.

Bo smiled in return, her heart fluttered by being on the receiving end of one of Lauren Lewis' smiles.

"Well, I actually owe it all to you. As I said, you got me interested and you taught me the basics, without you I wouldn't have met Kenzi on a web forum all those years ago, and I wouldn't be here actually…" Lauren could see Bo's eyes glaze over, conveying so much, and she felt her own heart ache that familiar way, a way it hadn't ached in for almost a decade.

The feelings too intense for the blonde to handle, she suddenly broke the connection and hastily stood up. Excusing herself to go to the ladies room. Bo ignored the other's chatter and let her gaze fall on the retreating blonde. She hadn't meant to open up in front of everyone. But the memories had come rushing back as soon as the blonde had entered her life again, and she couldn't stop the emotions that came with them.

She had screwed up so badly, and she never expected to see Lauren again. But here she was. Right in front of her, this amazing woman that had haunted her mind and dreams for … forever… and she wowed to herself that she would make it right. She had been given this second chance, even though she probably didn't deserve it, she was going to take it.

* * *

After Lauren's return from the bathroom the conversation was held light until it was time to leave. Lauren humbly thanked Lachlan and Evony for dinner and a lovely time. She said her goodbyes to Kenzi and told Hale that she'd walk the short distance to her home. She felt torn about what to say to Bo, the beautiful brunette who was now standing, strategically, between her and the exit.

"Goodnight Bo, it was… well, goodnight…" Lauren smiled tightly and hurried past her not finding the words, and still being somewhat thrown by the emotions the evening had stirred. She just wanted to go home and shut it all out. Push it back where it had lain dormant for all these years.

"Lauren…" The blonde stopped in the middle of the dimly lit parking lot at her name being called out. She slowly turned and faced Bo.

The brunette could see the internal battle that was going on inside the blonde and she desperately wanted to make it all better but she knew that it was going to be a slow process.

"It was good to see you again." She said gently. Meeting Lauren's gaze but getting no answer.

She tried again, speaking slowly, and choosing her words carefully. "I would really like it if we could …talk, maybe, sometime? There are some things I want to… I need to explain." She felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she carefully took a couple of steps closer to the blonde who stood like frozen in place, an unreadably expression on her face.

When Bo was about three feet from Lauren she spoke again, very softly.

"Would you, maybe, let me explain why I acted the way I did, all those years ago? I never thought I would get chance to see you again. And it's _so_ good to see you… I've missed you…" The last words were spoken while Bo looked down, in almost a whisper.

Lauren, who had tried to stand her ground, had tried not to take in the words spoken by the brunette, was shaken back to reality with those softly spoken words.

"You missed me….?" She breathed out. Bo looked up, only to find a fire raging in the blondes eyes.

"You missed me?" She spat out, louder this time. "You don't have the right to miss me." Lauren could practically taste the venom in her own words and for a second she tried to reel her emotions in, the look in Bo's eyes did seem so genuine and sad. She didn't want to cause Bo anymore sadness. Then she remembered the pain she'd caused her brother, her family, her… and suddenly the words spilled out.

"You just left, you didn't have to miss me; that was your own choice. You knew where I was. I was easy to find…. And so was Jack. You just walked out of… his life and you broke his heart… and me…I was…" Lauren had to turn away, feeling hot tears running along her cheeks. With her back towards Bo she continued. "I was left to pick up the pieces… He deserved more than you just leaving him a note and walking out of his life…" The blonde turned back, no longer caring if Bo saw her tears.

"And me, I thought that we were… friends, and you just left. If you hadn't noticed, back then, I didn't have a lot of friends. I had exactly one friend. You were kind of it. And I let you in… and you never said anything before you…" she wiped a few tears off of her cheek. "The day before Jack found the note… you and I watched a movie, do you remember?" Bo nodded slowly; tears running freely from her eyes as well.

"And I fell asleep during it, as I always did, and when I woke up; you were gone. And I never saw you again…. Until a few days ago, when I find you here! Eleven years later... In Hawaii! Of all the places on earth, you had to be here!" The blonde was practically yelling right now, releasing all that pent up anger and hurt and throwing it at the brunette.

Bo flinched and took a few steps back. She'd never seen Lauren this upset, and to think that she was the cause of all the pain she saw in the blonde's eyes; the thought of it shook her to the core.

Lauren seemed to suddenly collect herself.

"You know what; I can't do this, Bo." The blonde held up her hands and shook her head, taking a step back as well.

"I accept that you are here, geographically. And we will probably run into each other from time to time, because of Kenzi. But I don't want to know you. You don't know me anymore. You didn't just break Jack's heart… you broke mine as well. Goodnight, Bo."

With that Lauren turned and walked away from the brunette, leaving her sobbing in the dark parking lot.

Kenzi, who had approached a few seconds after the blonde had left, placed a cautious, warm, hand on Bo's shoulder. She had been standing inside the restaurant, trying to be considerate and not listening in on the heated conversation, though it had been hard to miss the harsh words spoken by the blonde doctor.

Bo turned into her best friend's embrace and continued sobbing uncontrollably. The shorter woman led her friend towards their ride and made Bo get in.

"Bo, I won't push, but when you are ready, I think you need to tell me what happened between you and Dr. Hotpants. You obviously care more about her than I've ever seen you care about anyone, _le petite Moi_ excluded, of course. " Bo just shrugged and nodded, her tears seemingly subsiding, then she turned to look out the window as Kenzi started the vehicle and pulled out from the parking lot.

* * *

 _Please tell me what you think! I'm trying to update as fast as I can, chapter 6 will probably be up in a few days. /mliess_


	6. Chapter 6

_I apologize in advance for the factual errors I may make concerning the American school system…_

 _I hope you enjoy the next chapter… /mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 _Flashback - almost 13 years earlier…_

Jack had just gone out to buy some snacks for the movie they were going to watch. Bo had taken the opportunity to walk the few steps down and knock on Lauren's door. After a couple of seconds the door opened and revealed a disheveled looking blonde, glasses on and a smudge of ink gracing her left cheek.

"Bo." Lauren dropped the heavy book she was carrying when she saw who was behind the door. She quickly bent down, scrambling to collect it from the floor. The brunette couldn't hold back the smile. Lauren was adorable, silently mumbling 'sorry' as she came back up.

"Hi Lauren, how are you? Are you busy?" Bo rushed out the questions, feeling a little foolish for what she was about to ask.

The blonde stammered. "No, I was just… " She pointed to something behind her. "…reading through next week's chemistry assignments… But, it's not important... Can I help you?" Lauren adjusted her glasses and tried to hide her surprise that the brunette had knocked on her door, this was certainly a first.

Since Lauren was two years younger than everyone else in her class, she had no friends, and Bo was one of the most popular girls in school. Everyone adored her. And Lauren certainly understood why.

Well, obviously she was beautiful. _'That smile could melt steel…'_ Lauren thought for a second.

She was also kind to everyone, funny with the side of sassy, she was a cheerleader; she possessed all the things that paved the road to success in high school.

Lauren remembered the first time Bo had spoken to her. It was their junior year and the blonde had bumped into someone at lunchtime and accidently dropped her lunch all over the floor. Everyone had laughed at her, calling her names she'd rather not repeat, saying that _kids_ belonged in kindergarten… and things like that.

Suddenly she had felt a soft hand on her arm. Looking up she saw the most beautiful girl she'd ever laid eyes on, smiling at her. She'd only seen her from afar before and being this close to Bo caused Lauren to blush profusely. She averted her eyes, trying to hide it, feeling ashamed for being so clumsy and that Bo probably had heard all the other kids calling her names. She went to say that she'd take care of it on her own, but Bo had already started to help her clean up and carry the broken carts to the trash. She had asked if the younger girl was ok and had received only a nod in return. The concern on the brunette's face had made Lauren even more nervous and flushed. She had given Bo a small smile and a hasty 'thank you' and had then run out of the cafeteria.

Snapping out of her musings, Lauren realized that Bo was speaking again.

"… so I was actually wondering if… well, Jack said… " the brunette sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought. "I'm falling behind in math and biology, the teacher hates me for some reason… and she won't help me. And none of my friends are especially interested in anything school related…so… I know you're something of a genius, and you probably don't have any time to help me, but I have to ask… Can you maybe tutor me, just for a little while so I can pass these courses?"

The pleading look in Bo's eyes was not something Lauren could ever say no to. Who was she kidding; Lauren would probably never be able to say no to anything the brunette asked of her. After the incident in the cafeteria the blonde had developed something of a small crush on Bo; along with half the school.

Of course this was made more complicated by the fact that her older brother Jack had,soon after, started dating Bo. And the more Lauren saw of her, at school, in her house… the worse the crush got. But it was manageable as long as she didn't have to interact much with her. Jack and her mostly stayed in his room.

But now, the beautiful woman in front of her was asking her to tutor her…. Which meant long hours of sitting close together, leaning into each other's… space; smelling that coconut shampoo that the brunette used that made Lauren's head spin. She couldn't do it, it would wreck her, confuse her even more. She had to say no.

"Yes, of course I'll help you!" The smaller blonde announced. "When do you want to start?"

She was now in deep, deep trouble.

 _End of flashback..._

* * *

The even flow of tears hadn't stopped when Lauren reached her place. Still in the black dress, she threw off her heals and sat down heavily on the side of her bed. She drew a hand through her hair, finding it somewhat comforting; the simple task.

 _'_ _I can't do this. I can't be here… the look on her face as I yelled at her, I almost felt compelled to apologize to her… what is wrong with me?! I have nothing to apologize for. And when she said that she missed me… I wanted to strangle her with my bare hands. And at the same time I just wanted to reach out and hold her in my arms, I've never heard her sound so small and vulnerable… fuck, she makes me crazy!"_ Lauren wiped away a few stray tears running down her cheeks.

 _'_ _When she looks at me with those eyes, I feel... strong… like she knows the real me. Not the person I am at work or… well, I'm always at work; it's all I am now. But when she looked at me, speaking about how I tutored her, and how she described me…'_ She looked up at the ceiling, inhaling deeply, then her head fell back down again. She buried her face in her palms and shook her head, trying to stop the tears from falling. _'I've really missed her too…'_

She stood up, tearing off her dress, throwing it in her closet. She took her bra off and tossed it in there as well. She walked over to the bed and pulled out a white t-shirt from underneath her pillow. Pulling it on, she took a deep breath.

 _'_ _I will not look at her, from experience I know that those eyes can make me do anything for her. I will ignore her, and only in Kenzi's company I would consider acknowledging her, but I can't let her back into my life. She will most definitely break me again, and she won't even know it. And just think of what pain she caused Jack, I can't even imagine. I was only friends with her. Even though I had a crush, I never had.. her… she never knew. No wonder she thinks it's strange that I'm this angry… She probably just saw this as a great opportunity to clear her conscience and move on; she probably never spent another second thinking about me since the day she left. Maybe we weren't that close, not in her mind. She had a ton of friends; wherever she went she just attracted people… I just got lost in the crowd. Maybe I'm being too hard on her? It not her fault that I… She never knew that I was in lo…no, no, no… not love, I could never be in love with my brother's girlfriend. I had a crush, a small…two year-long crush.'_

She went to lay under the covers, not even bothering with removing her make-up or brushing her teeth… she was just too exhausted.

 _'_ _I'm actually sounding like a sixteen year old girl right now… I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm accomplished and people are relying on me; I have a job to do here. Bo is just someone I used to know and we don't know each other anymore, it's been more than eleven years since she left… I'm over her. What if she had stayed? What if she had married my brother that they went on to have 2.5 kids, and I had to see her every birthday, every Christmas…? Oh, God… that would have been worse. I should probably thank her… Without her leaving, I would have never gotten over her. I'd be miserable…'_

* * *

It was Tuesday morning, 8:50 am, and Lauren was sitting at her desk, waiting for Ms. Ash to make her appearance. Not doubting for one second that the petit woman would be 'fashionably late'. She was really excited to get started; later that day she had scheduled interviews with a couple of doctors and nurses, hopefully finding competent, reliable people to hire.

She had begun testing out the lab, looking closer at Kenzi's file and various scans. Dr. Samson, who would be retiring in two weeks' time, had walked her trough a typical day at the clinic. Telling her about what kind of patients she would come across. Dr. Samson had of course heard of her work in the cardiac field, and he asked her about why she had taken the job, wondering with a light chuckle if it was the salary that had finally reeled her in. He couldn't understand why she, with everything she had got going for her, would take such a 'simple' position. She tried to keep her answer short, saying that she just needed a change of pace, but she saw in the gentle eyes of the older man that he wasn't buying it, not for a second.

The sound of the door opening and closing brought Lauren back from her musings.

"Holla, Kenzi's in da house, bitches!" The blonde rolled her eyes as the younger woman approached her desk.

"Well, good morning, Ms. Ash. I'm so glad you could come at this early hour." Lauren smirked as Kenzi sat down at the opposite side of her desk.

"Well, I wanted to make a good impression….for now… but don't expect me to get up this early every time… no, no… I've got Z's to catch up on… me and Bo were up last night, surfing in the dark, it was awesome! You should come, next time? Do you surf?" Kenzi tried to sound nonchalant but she in reality she wanted to see how the doctor would react when she brought up her friend's name. Bo still hadn't talked about what had happened the other night after dinner with her parents, between her and the Doc but Kenzi had a suspicion and she really wanted to confirm it.

This threw Lauren a bit, not really ready to hear about Bo's late night activities. "Well, no, I don't surf. Isn't it dangerous to be out in these waters after sundown… I read on the plane here that sharks are more likely to attack at night, it's their feeding time…."

"Well, we like to live on the wild side of life…" Kenzi smirked. The doctor was really a piece of work. It would be hard to get her to loosen up. But when did Kenzi ever back down from a challenge? Well, all in good time.

"So, what do you need me for today, do you wanna see my cool scars? Take some blood, talk about my feelings?"

Lauren looked at the smaller woman and took a deep breath, sensing this would be tricky.

"Well, first I would like to do a quick ultra sound on your heart, just to get acquainted with it…so to speak. And then yes, I'd like to draw some blood so I can control you white blood cell count, being that you are on a variation of immune suppressants, I need to check this every couple of weeks along with other things…" Lauren knew that Kenzi had been through this all before and so she didn't want to bore the young woman more than necessary.

"From what I can see from your previous work up the transplant is stable and working perfectly. Have you experienced any side effects from the medication or anything else you'd think I should know about?"

Kenzi rather liked Lauren's approach to her situation; direct, short and concise. No mushing around, no feeling sorry for her. The good doctor was beginning to grow on her, not that she would ever tell her so, but she could see why this woman had such a strong hold on her best friend's heart. She just needed some background information. She had to drag it out of Bo somehow, even though she could see that the brunette bombshell was hurting right now. She had asked her to come with to the clinic today, knowing that Bo desperately wanted the see Dr. Hotpants again, but she had just declined and turned over in her bed, pretending to be too tired to get up.

"Nope, I don't think so… well, maybe when I'm like all worked up, if I'm surfing or something, I feel that my heartrate takes a long while to get back to normal again… it's kinda bugs me…" Kenzi felt vulnerable telling Lauren this but tried her best to cover it up with her famous nonchalance.

"Well, we can defiantly fine tune your beta-blockers but first I'd like to set you up with a 48 hour EKG, it's the size of a small cellphone with 3 cords, you won't even know it's there. After that I can see how your heart rate reacts to exercise and also rest and everything in between. I don't want to alter your medication so your heart beats too slowly when you're sleeping, for instance. You understand?" Lauren could see that the younger woman was scared but she respected that she needed to keep up appearances so she didn't dig.

Lauren got up, indicating for Kenzi to follow her. "Shall we start with an ultra sound?"

* * *

 _Flashback..._

"So, how's Jack doing, he still got the sniffles?" Bo joked as she made a left turn onto West Avenue, heading to school. The sun was out in full force so she was wearing her pilot shades, which Lauren always thought looked so hot. She realized that she had in fact been staring at Bo, daydreaming once again, which she so often found herself do, but she snapped out of it and tore her eyes away, clearing her mind of Bo, trying to remember the question.

"Aah…Yes, he said to tell you that in case he didn't make it, he loves you and… he… he sent you a kiss, which he asked _me_ to give you, in his place…" She chuckled nervously, daring a glance at the brunette.

"But… I guess it's safe to say that he will survive and you'll receive that kiss next time you see him… I mean, not that I wouldn't… kiss you, you're not repellant or anything… erm… I just assume you'd want, Jack to… aah, kiss you… you know?"

Lauren felt her cheeks burn, she couldn't believe she just said that to Bo. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned towards the window, rubbing her, now, very sweaty palms together.

Jack had in fact told her to, but she really didn't have to tell Bo about it. She cast a glance at the brunette, and saw that she as well had a blush across her cheeks. And once again she knew that she had brought the awkwardness into the car. This was something she frequently did whenever she was in close proximity of the brunette. But this was by far one of the most awkward things she had said.

She still hadn't gotten over the time she fell asleep watching a movie, with her head on Bo's shoulder, only to wake up and having drooled all over her shirt. Bo had generously laughed it off and said that Lauren had a cute snore, and she had given her a wink, which hadn't made the blonde feel any more at ease.

But this, telling Bo out loud that she wouldn't mind kissing her, was way above anything she'd ever done before.

Bo suddenly spoke up, startling Lauren who currently was plotting how to best fake a seizure so she could get out of the car and away from the woman she couldn't get out of her head.

"I'm glad you don't find me repellant, Lauren. And if Jack holds out on me with that kiss, I know where to find you…" She turned to look at the now shocked blonde, and gave her a quick wink, smiling flirtatiously.

Lauren thought she would actually have a real seizure. _'Oh my…'_

 _End of flashback_

* * *

 _Please tell me what you think of the chapter? Do you like the flashback-element? Things will begin to heat up between our girls in the next chapter, hold on! ;)_


	7. Chapter 7

_I just want to thank everyone who is reading the story, and also for leaving reviews, you are awesome! :)_

 _Here's the next chapter… enjoy!/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Bo was exhausted.

Kenzi and her had been up late surfing. She knew she had to start telling Kenz about her history with Lauren, but it was just so hard. She didn't know where to begin. It was just a mess, all of it… She had run away, knowing that she would hurt people… people she really cared about. But staying would have meant that she would have hurt them even more. So, between the two evils she chose the lesser one… well, in her book anyway.

She sat up in her bed, stretching out her arms and yawned. She heard the front door; it was probably Kenzi who was back from her appointment with… Lauren. Bo let out a deep sigh. She couldn't get away from her. She was stuck. Since Kenzi was her best friend and Lauren was her… doctor.

"Bo, are you up yet? Your class starts in one hour!" Bo didn't answer right away but dragged her body out of bed and headed downstairs.

When the younger woman saw her she exclaimed: "It's alive! The horror, the horror!" She laughed at her own joke.

"Ha ha, I'm up. What are you so chipper about anyway?" Bo glared at the other woman who was now setting up breakfast for the two of them on the kitchen counter.

"Well, Dr. Hotpants is everything my father had hoped her to be. You know, I don't usually like people… at all really, barring present company, of course. But Blondie, hmm… she's got a way, you know… I just dig her. Well of course _you_ would know; you must have liked her for a long, long time… right Bo Bo?" The petit woman smirked sweetly, and Bo gave her the evil eye and put on a mock-smile.

"I'm so happy for you Kenz, that you finally like one of your doctors. I should go get ready, wax my board and stuff…" She got up, without even touching anything Kenzi had set out for her to eat.

"Bo…"

Kenzi ran after her, grabbing her arm lightly, making Bo stop and turn to face her.

"Look, I'm sorry… I'm just trying to get through to you. I could see it in Blondie's eyes as soon as I brought you name up; she is as torn up about you that you are about her. What is the deal with you two, and why is it so hard for you to tell _me_ , your bestest, best friend in the whole wide world?"

Bo bit her lower lip in resignation, knowing that there was no way out once her friend got a scent, she was like a dog with a bone…. She tried to sort out the mess that was currently her thoughts.

"I don't know, it's complicated…" She sighed. "We were friends. I was her only friend, aside from Jack, and I left her." Bo looked down at her hands, the guilt coming down on her like a storm.

"Even before graduation Lauren was practically headhunted by Harvard. They begged her to come study medicine at their fancy university; throwing a spacious off-campus apartment at her, cars, and all the science-y things that would lure a young genius to them…. Jack and I sort of moved out there with her…" Bo cast a guilty glance at Kenzi whose eyes grew twice their size.

"Wait; hold on, you all lived together?" The younger woman exclaimed. Bo flinched. It was hard just thinking about this, let alone explaining it to her best friend who always saw right through her, however well she tried to hide.

"Yeah, well, their parents didn't want her to live alone, she was still only sixteen; however smart she might have been…. and since we just graduated and didn't really have any plans… we sort of came along for the ride. So it all worked out perfectly… at first." Bo sighed, deep in her memories.

"We got jobs at a bar close by. Lauren spent all her time with her nose in some book, I always had to remind her to eat and sleep. You should have seen her Kenz, she was… amazing." Bo's face lit up with pride.

"And when I met some of her classmates they all just gushed about her, like she was the Second Coming or something… I suspected that all of them either wanted to be her… or be _with_ her…you know?"

"I mean, she was beautiful… and quirky, she used to tell these jokes than none of us understood and then she'd laugh, alone, for like ten minutes…" Bo chuckled. "And it was totally endearing…"

Bo got a faraway look on her face, a small smile playing on her lips, but still with a hint of sadness behind it. Kenzi didn't think that she had ever seen her friend looking so lost; almost haunted. She reached out to touch her arm gently, to bring her back from wherever her mind had taken her just then.

Bo snapped back and smiled at Kenzi, but it didn't reach her eyes. She continued.

"Anyway…. Worse part was that she was totally clueless, she never saw how they all listened to her, how they admired her… all she cared about was studying… " Bo's eyes saddened, and Kenzi was beginning to figure some things out.

Bo suddenly got a somewhat bitter look on her face.

"Then, Jack proposed out of nowhere, on my 19th birthday, our two year anniversary… we had a small party at the bar we worked. We had to sneak Lauren inside ´cause she was still under 18. She and I were shooting some pool and out of the blue Jack went down on one knee and proposed. I mean… I was stunned. We had been together for two years, sure, but we were too young, I was only nineteen… but everyone was looking at me, smiling and cheering, so I…. I said 'yes'…"

A tear trickled down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away.

"But it wasn't…. right. He cornered me and afterwards I felt… I don't know… I broke off the engagement two weeks later… in a letter with like, ten words. And I just… left."

Bo shook her head, a painful expression on her face. Kenzi could see that this had eaten at the brunette for a long time. Kenzi went to say something but just then Bo continued:

"I hadn't told either of them that I'd gotten accepted at Princeton, I had no real plan to actually go at the time I applied… so neither of them knew where to find me. It was easy to just disappear…"

The younger woman spoke up, a question that had been nagging in the back of her head.

"But why did you have to disappear? I understand that you needed to break up with Jack, well almost anyway, but there must be something you're not telling me, Bo!" Kenzi pressed on, frustrated by now. Suddenly Bo's phone rang and she was happy for the interruption.

"Sorry Kenz, I have to take this. I'll be back later, after my class." With that Bo left the house in a hurry, leaving a frustrated Kenzi behind.

* * *

 _A few days later…_

Lauren was feeling good.

She had finally decided on what staff to hire; and she had just gotten off the phone with the last of them. She felt satisfied with her choices and she glanced around her office. She could see the ocean if she just leaned over her desk and tilted her head to the right. The clock was almost five pm and Dr. Samson had taken care of the last of their patients.

Lauren wasn't really supposed to be working yet, she didn't have to anyway. But it was all she could do to keep her thoughts from drifting to the ever alluring brunette who constantly invaded them. She shook her head and got out of her chair. She hung up her lab coat on the hook in her office and locked up the clinic, making sure she had the on call phone with her in case of any emergencies. She had told Dr. Samson that she could deal with it today, she didn't really have any plans and his grandchildren had come to visit him, so she wanted him to spend quality time with them.

It was a beautiful, sunny day; just like every other day in this Hawaiian paradise. She walked the short distance to her house, deciding to take a detour to the water's edge, just to dip her feet in the sea.

Getting closer she took her light shoes off, and bent down to roll up the hem of her pants so they wouldn't get wet. Satisfied, she carried her shoes in her left hand and strolled down the water's edge; her feet getting more wet with each wave that rolled in.

In the distance, she could see a group of surfers, there were five or six of them. The waves today were almost nonexistent but it looked as if they were working on their paddling. Getting closer she heard the voice she had gone almost three days without hearing.

"Great job everyone! Place the boards in the rack and we'll call it a day. Let's hope the waves will show up tomorrow, right? And once again, well done today, all of you!" Bo had her back turned to Lauren, looking towards her group, and for a second the blonde thought of just turning around and walking away, maybe Bo wouldn't even notice her. Just as she decided that it was the right course of action the powers that be stepped in. One of the guys in the group made a whistling sound as his eyes wandered up and down Lauren's body, making her feel very uncomfortable.

Bo turned around to see what Sam was looking at and found the blonde, looking absolutely gorgeous in the evening sun, of course she was frowning, but Bo would take anything she got at this point.

"Lauren, hi!" Bo tried not to sound too enthusiastic. She didn't want to scare her away. She took a few steps closer, slowly approaching Lauren, fully expecting and mentally prepared for her to just turn and walk away.

"Hi… I was just… I didn't know you were here. I should… go, actually…" Lauren felt her cheeks burn, and it wasn't from the sun. She desperately tried to look away but her eyes had a mind of their own as they took in the image of Bo in a wetsuit. Lauren sucked in a deep breath.

She could see that the brunette was in fantastic shape. Her perfectly toned legs, a nice tan on top of that… and those cute feet. She felt her lips curl up in a small smile.

Her eyes continued traveling the length up around her womanly curves, seeing the hint of abs through the thick material, finally landing on a knowing smile. Lauren quickly lost the smile and swallowed hard. She felt beads of sweat starting to form on her forehead as it quickly dawned on her that Bo had caught her checking her out.

She started to turn around, suddenly embarrassed. But she found that it was hard to move away, the brunette had a pull on her that was difficult to ignore. She forced her feet to move just as the brunette spoke.

"So, how's work going?" Bo asked somewhat rushed, trying to come up with something neutral to say, just to keep the blonde with her for a few moments more. Lauren stopped her movement. Bo continued, satisfied that she'd caught the doctor's attention.

"You know, Kenzi won't stop gushing about you; how you're the best doctor she's ever had. Of course if you ask her she'd never admit it, but she really likes you. She'll kill me if she knew I was telling you this…" Bo smiled, testing the waters by complimenting Lauren, all be it true, Kenzi wouldn't shut up about 'Dr. Hotpants'.

Lauren turned back to Bo. "Well, that's nice to hear, it's hard to get a read on your friend, always hiding behind a joke. She talks about you a lot too…" Bo could hear the sadness in the doctor's voice. "You have a good friend there; she seems to be one of the good ones… well, what do I know, right?" She chuckled dryly, taking an involuntary stab at Bo, who visibly flinched at the comment.

"I'm sorry… " Lauren said, instantly regretting it somehow. She wasn't really a mean person, and she resented the fact that the brunette standing a couple of feet from her brought that side out of her. Bo's eyes lit up by her apology, and she seemed utterly surprised when hearing it. She was even more surprised when Lauren continued.

"So, you're a surfing instructor? Been doing it long?" Lauren was shocked that she had asked the woman a personal question, after having promised herself that she would not interact with her. Here she was now, looking into her mesmerizing eyes, checking out her amazing body, smiling lightly at her, and talking to her.

She would berate herself later. Bo was like a drug to her, and she had been addicted from the first time she looked into her eyes, all those years ago, in their high school cafeteria.

Bo's smile widened and she hurried to answer Lauren. "Yeah, when I moved out here I took a few lessons myself, and it was so much fun! I never thought… well, and after a while they asked me if I wanted to lead my own course and… here I am." Bo felt slightly embarrassed by her own excitement but she really loved to surf, and for a second she wondered what it would be like to see Lauren riding those waves…

 _'_ _Oh, no, don't go there… Lauren in a bikini… Lauren wet… oh, God…. Stop it!'_

Bo had to look away towards the ocean to stop the onslaught of dirty images, almost like something out of a 'Baywatch'-episode montage played out in front of her eyes, and the blonde goddess was in a leading role. Bo could practically see Lauren coming towards her, stepping out of the ocean in slowmotion, water cascading down her tight body, drawing her exquisite fingers through her wet hair.

 _'Oh, no…'_

She spoke up again, trying to stop the video, playing on repeat in her head.

"There's something calm about surfing, I know it sounds crazy, but when you're riding a wave, and you're not falling on your ass, you find… peace, somehow. You're perfectly atoned with the flow and…" She tore her vision from the sea back to the blonde who was now looking at her curiously.

Bo felt herself blush profoundly and she giggled, once again embarrassed by her own rambling, and still reeling from the short fantasy she'd just had. The Baywatch song 'I'll Be Ready' was still playing in her head.

Lauren kept looking at her, with deep intensity and with a light smile dancing on her lips; Bo felt her heart almost stopping. That stare was something she had missed dearly. They just stood there, gazing into each other's eyes. The electricity between them was palpable.

Suddenly the spell was broken by a loud ringing noise.

"Oh…" Lauren scrambled to answer the angry phone in her pocket. Bo was both relieved and disappointed that the moment had been interrupted; she hadn't felt that close to the blonde in almost twelve years.

"Dr. Lewis speaking, how can I help you? Aaah, yes, I will be there in…" Lauren looked at her wristwatch. "…five minutes, just apply pressure and keep the foot elevated. Room 326, yes, got it!" With that she hung up and returned her gaze to Bo.

"Sorry, I have to go, a guest has stepped on some broken glass… so I have to go… which I already said once… so, I will just… go…then…" The blonde dragged the words out, feeling light headed by the mere presence of Bo and the way she was looking at her, half wonder, half something else she couldn't quite decipher.

"Ok, you have to go, yes, I hope his foot will be ok, of course it will be with you as his doctor…." Bo couldn't believe what a rambling idiot she was.

"It was nice seeing you again, Lauren, and if you're ever interested in taking a surf course, I might just give you a free lesson…" That came out way more flirty than Bo wanted it to but for a second she saw the half smile it got out of the blonde, and it immediately made her feel better about it.

"Well, we'll see… take care, Bo. Bye…" Lauren gave her a tight smile and turned around. Wondering what the hell she was doing, talking to Bo like… nothing had happened. And that moment, before her phone rang… the way Bo looked at her…. it was too confusing for even Lauren's brain to comprehend. As she walked towards the clinic she berated herself and once again reminded herself that she needed to be more guarded around the brunette, who magically tore away all her well-built defenses, however well she struggled to hold them up.

* * *

 _So there you got a little glimpse inside of Bo's head and what she was thinking…. You like? ;)_


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for the wait! Here's chapter 8!_

 _Enjoy!_

 _/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

Two weeks later the clinic was up and running. Lauren had hired two doctors who had jumped at the opportunity to work with her. They had also jumped on to a plane and gotten here within a couple of days.

Part of the deal she had made with Lachlan Ash was of course to run the clinic, and keep a close watch over his most important asset; his daughter. But for that he could have hired any cardiologist and not especially Lauren. The reason he had pursued her and offered her the position was that he wanted her to find a cure or a better treatment for the original heart defect that Kenzi was born with; Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. The left ventricle of the heart, the part of the heart that pumped the oxygenated blood out to her body, was severely underdeveloped. She had gone through a series of operations at a young age but the last surgery had suffered unforeseen complications, leading to the slow process of heart failure. They had waited a long time for a donor heart; Kenzi had been close to dying but in the last minute a donor had matched and she had been transplanted.

Lachlan never wanted another family to go through that. And for this purpose there was no one more qualified that Lauren Lewis. He had offered Lauren unlimited funds to start searching for the cure. She had told him that there might not be a cure for it but he persisted, saying that she at least might find something that could improve the technique and the outcome.

The existing 'Three Stage Norwood Procedure', the one they had used on Kenzi, had been developed in the 1980's but only increased the life span of the patients, it wasn't a cure. Lauren had a few ideas of how she could improve the procedure, but she was also trying to think outside of the box. Maybe a whole different approach was necessary? She needed time to think and she needed to surround herself with people who challenged her and could brainstorm with her.

One of the doctors Lauren had hired had been a fellow of hers at the Mayo Clinic.

35 year-old Kate Swanson had been thrilled when the blonde had called her and asked her to come. She had recently divorced her husband so she had basically nothing tying her down. Lauren had very high hopes for Kate who was an excellent cardiothoracic surgeon and she would be perfect for this challenge as she had actually used the Norwood approach several times. She was also a brilliant scientist and had worked with Lauren on her last research concerning congenital heart diseases, she so understood the complexities of this new mission.

The second doctor Lauren had hired she had met after one of her lectures in Dublin.

Brian Flannery, age 28, had asked such relevant questions about her work, looking at things from different angles; that she had written down his name for future references. He had great experience of the ER and he came with fantastic credentials from other colleagues that she very much respected. And now he was here, working alongside her. She was actually a bit giddy, feeling more at ease than ever before.

They had agreed to split the hours at the clinic between them, making sure there would always be one doctor there during office hours and one on call at all hours of the day. All three of them were highly motivated to spend as much time in the lab as possible, working on a possible cure.

The nurses also felt like a perfect fit, Lauren felt good about all three of them; two older women, Leia and Anne; who had worked at the local hospital for many years. Anne had in fact worked part-time at the clinic alongside Dr. Samson, so she knew her way around and had a lot of experience. The third one was young man, Mikala. Mikala was tall and muscular, but reminded Lauren more of a teddy bear because of his kind ways.

* * *

It was around noon and Mikala and Lauren were at the clinic. He offered to go get them both some lunch and Lauren had happily agreed.

As the young nurse stepped out Lauren caught glimpse of a surfer, carrying his board across the wide beach. The sight made her think of another person who could very well be doing the same thing right now… carry a surfboard around… probably looking smoking hot doing it. She shook her head lightly, feeling foolish for even letting her mind drift to the brunette.

It had been two weeks since she had last seen Bo on the beach that day. She hadn't actively avoided her, but even so, they hadn't crossed paths. Bo hadn't accompanied Kenzi to any of her checkups. Kenzi had mentioned her but not really telling the doctor what Bo was up to.

Lauren didn't know how she felt about it. She was somewhat relieved that she didn't have to deal with the brunette, but on the other hand she missed her.

 _'_ _How can I miss someone I don't even know…? But that moment we shared… the way she was looking at me… and when she caught me checking her out… no, she's not the same girl I knew…she can't be…right?'_

Either way, she did miss her. She missed how she felt when Bo was near, looking at her with those big, brown eyes.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. She shouldn't even think about Bo right now. She was finally set in her new job, she was starting to calm down and work at a more humane pace. She hadn't felt dizzy in almost a week now. Her EKG already looked better. She didn't need Bo to complicate things. If they bumped into each other, fine, she wouldn't run and hide; she would be civil, but no more. She needed to change her ways and that meant pushing herself to do things she'd never done before.

This past week Lauren had had a lot of firsts, and she was actually a little proud of herself for doing them. None of them had involved Bo; well… not much anyway.

She had used a Jacuzzi for the first time. She enjoyed a fine glass of wine while soaking in the comfortable pool, gazing out into the starry sky hovering over the beautiful ocean. Remembering it now she didn't think that she had ever felt more relaxed, for a few seconds at least. After that all the thoughts concerning her work and …other complications… came rushing back. She would need to work hard on her relaxation, but this was a start.

She had, for the first time, gone for a long run down at the beach, barefoot by the water's edge. It was early in the morning and when she had passed by Bo and Kenzi's house she couldn't stop herself to look up towards it and wonder what Bo was doing.

She had asked Kate to take one of her shifts at the clinic one day, something that was unprecedented in the strict work-ethic of Dr. Lauren Lewis. Kate had hurried to agree, probably more out of surprise and shock than anything else. Lauren had spent the day at the beach, working on her tan and taking long, not-so-cooling swims. She had felt like she was playing hooky and that her teacher would soon find her and drag her back to class. Of course; she wouldn't know since she hadn't missed a day of school in her life.

Suddenly Lauren heard the front door bust open, and she looked up, expecting it to be Mikala with their lunch.

Instead she saw that man from Bo's course, the one who had undressed her with his eyes. She frowned upon seeing him. But when he turned around she saw that he was in fact carrying a woman in his arms, and not just any woman.

"Bo?!" Lauren rushed up from her chair behind the front desk, panic coursing through her.

"What happened?" She demanded, her voice more unsteady than she would have liked.

When she got closer she saw that the brunette's eyes were closed and she was bleeding from a gash in her forehead, close to her left temple. She was clad in a wetsuit that ended above her knees and elbows. She quickly indicated for the man to follow her into the exam-room and to place Bo gently down onto the gurney.

Lauren started to call out for Bo, who was unresponsive. She went to check her pulse and breathing and then she flashed a light in the brunette's eyes. Lastly she examined the cut.

Satisfied that Bo was breathing, her pupils were responsive, and her heartrate satisfactory; she turned her head, looking at the visibly shaken man to urge him to answer her. All the while she continued in her examination of Bo; checking her neck and shoulders, down across her torso for possible breaks.

"We were out surfing, the waves suddenly got insane and she fell, I think she got hit in the head by the board… can you help her?"

"How long has she been unconscious?" She asked, finished with her search for broken bones, finding none, to her great relief. She tried to calm herself down and she glanced up at Bo's face once again.

She felt her heart constrict just looking at the woman, now seemingly small, just lying there, hurt and unconscious. Feeling the panic rise again Lauren turned and grabbed some disinfection and gauze and started to clean and dress the wound to stop the bleeding.

"A couple of minute's maybe…. I ran over here as fast as I could…" The blonde, tall man seemed to care a lot about Bo. Lauren suddenly felt a sting of jealousy coming over her, but she quickly brushed it off.

"I will need to do a head-CT to make sure she's not suffering from any brain bleeds or swelling." She grabbed a pen and quickly checked Bo's reflexes, making sure she hadn't damaged her back or neck. Getting a response with a flicker of Bo's foot after running the pen up the soles of her feet she felt confident that Bo hadn't suffered any spinal injury. If the blonde had to make her diagnosis right now she was most probably suffering from a concussion and would soon wake up. That was what Lauren prayed for at least.

Once again the door to the clinic opened and she looked up to see Mikala walking through it, a bag with their lunches in hand.

He immediately dropped the bag at the front desk, upon assessing the scene before him, and came rushing to her aid. She quickly brought him up to speed and together they moved Bo to another gurney, one that would fit into the X-ray scan.

The few minutes of waiting for the scan to finish was probably the longest in Lauren's life. Just as she began to pace back and forth, the scan was finished.

She quickly sat down and started analyzing the 3D image of Bo's brain; not seeing any hemorrhage or damage, only a barely-there swelling on the left side where the brunette had suffered the blow, she finally let out the breath she had been holding ever since she first saw Bo unconscious. Bo had gotten a mild concussion and would be all right.

Lauren suddenly felt drained. Tears sprang to her eyes, which she quickly wiped away.

 _'_ _Bo will be fine…'_

She repeated the phrase in her head like a mantra. She had been so scared, and now when the adrenaline left her body her hands were suddenly shaking. How could the brunette have such a hold on her? She had almost lost it when she had seen Bo hurt and bleeding.

Lauren shook her head, baffled.

She had operated on children, newborn babies… she had literally held their hearts in the palm of her hand… and not once had her hands been shaking. But one look at the brunette in that state… she was reduced to an emotional, useless fool. With the realization crashing down on her like a tsunami, Lauren simply let the tears run freely down her cheeks.

Right then and there the blonde finally admitted to herself that the feelings she'd had for Bo had been far beyond a small crush… she had been in love with her…

And all this time, all these years she had been trying to move on. The revelation that she was experiencing knocked the wind out of her. Because she realized that she never really succeeded in moving on. She had been deceiving herself all along, thinking she had.

There was no _getting over_ Bo. She would _never_ be over Bo.

* * *

 _I have written the next chapter and will update at the latest on Sunday!_

 _How did you like this one? /mliess_


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm sitting here, wishing that I could trade Sweden for Canada right now… so I could watch episode 5x9…_

 _it's killing me, knowing that there is a new episode I can't see! No spoilers please… ;) My therapy will be writing… so here you go!_

 _Enjoy! /mliess_

* * *

CHAPTER 9

Lauren had purposely made herself scarce while Mikala had changed the still unconscious brunette out of the wetsuit and into a hospital gown.

Lauren walked into the small monitoring room; it was situated on the left side of the building. She could hear the steady heartbeat of the woman lying on the bed; coming from the EKG-machine she was hooked up to. She looked at the screens; showing blood pressure, oxygen saturation of her blood and respiration rate. She was taking no chances with the care of the woman in front of her. Lauren needed to feel that she was in full control of the situation. This was in counteraction of just coming to the realization that her own heart was no longer in her control, it seemed to rise or fall with the fate of the brunette.

She took a step closer and reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from Bo's face.

 _'_ _She looks so peaceful. And even with that gash on her forehead she's still impossibly beautiful…. She will be the death of me…'_ Lauren couldn't help the small smile grazing her lips.

She cleared her head of those thoughts and turned around to grab the small table behind her, pulling it and a chair to her. She sat down, put on some sterile gloves and went to work; suturing up the gash, confident in her technique, she knew that it would heal nicely, leaving only a hint of a scar.

* * *

Lauren entered Bo's room again two hours later. She had just gotten off the phone with Kenzi. She was currently was in San Francisco, promoting their new videogame, 'Zombie Hookers 3 – No Need for Pimps', which apparently had been a huge success once again with the fans. She had informed her of Bo's accident and had tried to calm her down, but the woman had not been satisfied until Lauren had promised to stay close to her best friend until she would return. Kenzi would take the first flight back but it wouldn't be until the next morning.

It was now 4:30 pm and Lauren sat down on the chair next to Bo's bed. Mikala had insisted that she'd eat her lunch but she didn't have any appetite, her stomach were all up in knots.

Bo still hadn't woken up.

She just laid there, looking serene, a white patch covering the wound on her forehead. Lauren leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. She didn't even realize what she was doing until she looked down and saw that her hand had covered Bo's. She swallowed hard. She shouldn't be here. If only Kenzi hadn't made her promise… who was she kidding? She'd still be here.

She squeezed Bo's hand, her thumb absentmindedly making circles on the back of the brunette's wrist. She didn't know how long she had sat there but suddenly she felt Bo's fingers moving beneath her own. She looked up at her face and she saw the brunette's eyelids start to flutter and her breathing had changed. She didn't release the hand she was holding, but stood up, leaning closer to the woman in the bed.

"Bo? Bo, can you open your eyes for me?" The blonde squeezed the hand she was holding gently. She desperately needed the brunette to wake up, she didn't think she could take the wait much longer. But this was a definitely a good sign.

"Bo?" The urgency in Lauren's voice grew thicker. Her right hand, the one that wasn't holding onto Bo's hand, running up and down the brunette's arm, softly caressing it.

"Lauren…?"

A raspy, groggy voice said. Lauren had never been more relieved, she couldn't help but to break out in a big goofy grin.

Soon the fluttering eyelids opened and revealed those chocolate brown eyes that had haunted Lauren for more than a decade. Again she felt tears in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She didn't want the brunette to see it, see that she'd been so concerned for her. She tried to sound as professional as possible but her voice betrayed her.

"Bo…?" She wanted to say that she had been so worried, that she was relieved that she was away… that she had longed to hear that voice. But she couldn't really say all that… she was supposed to be angry with the now awake woman. So what came out was:

"Do you know where you are?" She hated the fact that her voice broke while uttering the words, breaking with all the things she really wanted to express.

"Lauren…? What…" Bo tried to lift her head but ended up squeezing her eyes shut as pain shot through her head.

"My head… it hurts like a motherfucker…" She brought her hand up to gently touch her forehead where the patch was. "Ow…"

"What happened?" She looked up at Lauren again, panic rising in her voice.

"Bo, look at me. " Lauren sat down on the bed; she needed to calm the brunette down before she had a panic attack. Her hand pressed gently on Bo's again. She then placed it between both of her own, putting them in her lap. She could see the distress in the woman's eyes, along with the obvious difficulty to really focus on her own.

"Hey… hey, look at me, you are safe." Again, she squeezed the hand a little, making Bo finally focus on her.

"You are all right, do you hear me? I will give you something for the pain, but right now I need you lucid, so please try to listen and stay awake, only for a little while, ok?" Lauren said trying to calm Bo down, which seemed to work as she finally felt her relax somewhat and breath normally again.

"You fell while surfing and your board hit you in the head. You were brought here, unconscious, and I examined you. We examined you and it seems you've suffered a mild concussion. Do you understand?" Bo nodded slowly, realization showing on her face, but the confusion was still there. Lauren knew it was common for these sorts of injuries to cause some memory loss, but it would most likely return rather quickly as the patient healed.

"You will be fine. You will have a headache for a few days, and you'll have to take it easy for a while. But you will be ok. "

Lauren spoke softly and slowly, trying to get through to Bo who nodded again. Lauren had absentmindedly started to rub the top of Bo's hand with one of her own; mostly to calm the brunette down, but also herself. She felt the stress slowly leaving her body; the other woman's skin was like a drug to Lauren, she couldn't get enough.

She suddenly saw that Bo's eyes had travelled down to their connecting hands, and she couldn't really decipher the expression on her face, but it looked a bit like surrendering. The brunette closed her eyes and breathed deeply, seemingly relaxing and focusing on the gently touch. Lauren fought against the urge to let go, this was wrong on so many levels, but she simply couldn't. So she decided that she was there to comfort Bo, setting her own drama aside for the time being.

"Bo… I need to ask you a few questions, is that ok?" Lauren asked after a few minutes, knowing that she would break the peaceful stand-still moment they had just shared. Another minute of this intimacy and she had surrendered herself completely… and that would have been the point of no return.

She received another nod from Bo, who had again opened her eyes to look at the blonde once more.

"Can you tell me your full name?"

This earned a frown from the groggy brunette. The blonde tried to explain. "I just need to check if you have suffered any temporary memory loss after the blow to your head. It's not uncommon, so I just need to check…. So; your full name?"

"Ysabeau McCorrigan." Her voice still raspy, she tried to clear her throat. Lauren loved Bo's name, and had always secretly wanted to call her that, but the brunette seemed to hate it so she had refrained from it.

"Do you know who's President of the United States?" At this Bo made a 'duh' expression, her eye's momentarily closing as tiredness returned to her body, all the adrenaline that had pumped through her body when she had first wakened up and panicked was now spent.

"Obama…" Bo forced her eyes open again.

"What date is it today?" Again Bo answered correctly and Lauren felt more at ease with each question.

"Do you remember anything from the accident today?"

"I remember Sam picking me up in his truck and us unloading our boards… but nothing after that…" Her speech more slurred now, Lauren knew the woman would soon fall asleep. Despite of that, she couldn't stop the next couple of words slipping out before she could catch herself.

"Hmm… and Sam, is he your, erm… your boyfriend?" Lauren tried to sound nonchalant. When she dared to look back at Bo, who suddenly had a sly grin on her tired face, she knew she had failed.

"Why, Dr. Lewis, such a personal question…do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice?" Bo's eyes drooped again, but the grin remained. Even though Lauren felt embarrassed by Bo's reply, she wasn't too worried; the almost sleeping woman would probably not remember this conversation tomorrow.

"Yeah, Bo, keep telling yourself that…" Lauren smiled as well, enjoying the light banter between them.

"I knew it Doc, I knew…" With that, the brunette was out like a light.

Lauren chuckled, feeling much more at ease now that she knew that Bo was going to be ok. She remained seated, still holding on to Bo's hand, which felt so small between her own.

* * *

Lauren had eventually released Bo's hand, instantly missing the warmth it brought her; to her great dismay. She didn't _want_ to miss it.

She had given Bo a mild dose of morphine for the pain, and withdrawn herself from the room. She desperately needed to clear her head, which was spinning like crazy after the recent events. She needed to distance herself from the brunette, physically and emotionally. So she went into the lab to focus on something else, trying to be productive in the process. She had brought an iPad with her and set it up next to her on the table. It mirrored the screen in Bo's room, so she could keep a close watch on her stats.

It was starting to darken outside; the clock would soon turn 8:00 pm. She had just succeeded in tearing her eyes away from Bo's EKG, which she found, in her enormously nerdy mind; simply beautiful.

A steady, soothing rhythm; around 60 bpm. First a gently P wave… and the progression of her QRS-complexes were simply stunning… Lauren had almost gotten a bit turned on by the simple perfection of it. She momentarily wondered what it would be like to lay her head down on Bo's chest, closing her eyes and just be lulled into sleep by the calming sound of her beautiful heart. She blushed, not really knowing what had gotten into her today.

So here she was, trying hard to get through a recent article about hypoplastic left heart syndrome, when Kate walked into the lab.

"Lauren, I didn't know you were here… Hi!" Lauren looked up from the screen and turned to look at the woman.

"Hi Kate, yeah, I…" Lauren suddenly felt foolish, not really knowing how to explain what she was doing here. Mikala had offered to stay and monitor Bo but Lauren had made a promise to Kenzi. Truth be told; she didn't want to leave Bo, she needed to be here.

"… I have a patient, she's resting in the monitoring room, she hit her head while surfing and got a mild concussion… So, I wanted to stay close by just in case… you know." She was hoping Kate wouldn't question it further.

"Oh, yeah, Mikala told me about her. I'm on call and I just came in to file a report. A guest got bit by a stray dog and needed to be patched up. I also gave him a tetanus shot." Lauren nodded, pleased that she had hired Kate, such a competent well rounded physician. Especially when her own, usually rational and sane mind, deserted her.

"So, how are you adjusting to the Hawaiian climate?" The blonde asked, feeling the need to change the subject.

Kate smiled. "It's great, very different from Rochester, Minnesota, right?" The blonde laughed at this, remembering those cold winters. She had had an extra heater installed in her office at the Mayo Clinic for the night's she spent sleeping in there.

"Do you miss it?" Kate suddenly asked.

"No… Yes… I don't know. Things are different here…. I'm different here."

"Yeah, I've noticed Lauren, you seem more…" She paused a second.

"…can I be frank with you?" Lauren nodded, urging the woman on.

"You seem… happier. More relaxed. But at the same time, there's something new I've never seen in you before…" The redhead seemed to consider if she should continue.

Usually Lauren didn't like to be read like this, but she was both curious and afraid of what the older doctor would say. "What?" the blonde tried to cover up her nerves with a small, tight smile.

"There's like a glow about you, like you finally… found your place in the world?" That struck a nerve with Lauren, making her posture falter somewhat. Though she tried to cover it up, she was sure that Kate had picked up on it.

The other woman looked down and chuckled. "But what do I know, right? I'm… I'm tired and I blabber when I'm tired. Please ignore me…" She looked up at Lauren, something resembling embarrassment in her eyes, or fear of speaking out of line.

Lauren's expression softened and she nodded, putting the other woman at ease. She sighed deeply, suddenly feeling the intensity of day sneak up on her.

"You may very well be right, Kate, I feel more relaxed here, but at the same time I'm… scared. Unsure of myself… not about the work but… I've never really cared about what people thought of me, you know? I don't mean of 'Dr. Lewis', but _me_. For the longest time, there haven't really been a _me_ ; only the work-me. And coming here has made me think hard about some things and I've discovered that… I'm scared. I'm scared of separating the two roles. I guess I'm scared to have a life outside of work. But I want it… and we're back to me feeling unsure…. And I haven't felt like that in a very long time, not since…."

She thought back on the time spent with Jack and Bo. She sighed and continued.

"… So I haven't decided if I like the new me, but maybe in time?" she gave Kate a small nod.

Kate and Lauren had never really been close or had talked about personal stuff before; Lauren had always kept a tight ship, not sharing personal information or feelings with her co-workers. That's probably why she'd never really had any friends. After Bo left, the one person she had ever confided in; she had shut that part of herself down completely, being all about the work, all the time.

 _'_ _A few weeks on the same island as Bo, and here I am, talking about my feelings with a co-worker… what is happening?'_ Lauren thought to herself.

Kate chuckled. "Well, I, for one, really like the new you." Lauren raised her eyebrows, surprised at the other woman's statement.

The redhead went to explain. "I think _that_ was the most you have ever spoken to me, aside from walking me through a complicated surgery, in… ever. And this was about your feelings… you really have changed, Lauren." Kate smiled softly and continued.

"And I understand what you mean, it's hard to live the lives we do, we did… and have fully functional relationships with someone outside of work. It's easier to just… let the personal side go and give everything you have to saving small babies. 'Cause what could possibly be more important than that, right? Once you can do what we do, have that _power_ … everything else rather pales in comparison. I've been there, where you are… _were_. But then I met Patric and he made me want to be more than just a doctor. And I've never been that happy before… and I wouldn't take it back, ever…. however it may have ended…" She took a moment to think about the next thing she was going to say.

"The _you_ who aren't a doctor, are also important Lauren. You need to live a little, for no one else but yourself. Not the tiny babies, for you."

Both women were silent as they absorbed the words that had been spoken. It was Kate who broke the silence.

"Oh, god, what do they put in the water in this place? We've been reduced to emotional wreaks!"

At this, Lauren started laughing, a real hearty laugh and Kate soon joined in.

* * *

After Lauren had collected herself from the eye-opening talk to Kate she felt surprisingly light. She spent an hour more in the lab, after Kate had left, but her mind kept returning to the brunette in the other room. Eventually she gave up; not remembering a single thing from the article she'd just read seven times.

She got up and walked the short distance to Bo's room. She pulled up the larger sitting chair closer to the bed and sat down. She was tired and needed to sleep but she wanted to stay here a little bit longer. Then she would go into the exam room next door and crash on the sofa. She grabbed Bo's left hand, again drawing circles with her thumb across the sun-kissed skin. She looked up from their interlinked hands to Bo's face. The sight of the sleeping brunette took her breath away.

"My god, you're beautiful…" she whispered softly.

Maybe she _had_ found her place in the world.

* * *

 _What will happen when Bo wakes up again? Next chapter will be up soon, it will involve some flashbacks and some heat… please tell me what you think :) /mliess_


	10. Chapter 10

_First I just want to thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm so happy you like the story, I'm working hard, writing as much as I can, so I can update as often as possible! Enjoy the chapter! /mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

Bo woke as the first rays of sunlight entered the room. Opening her eyes she began to panic, not recognizing the room. She turned her head carefully, looking around, the movement causing her to feel the soreness in her body and she flinched at the sting of pain shooting through the left side of her head. The only sound in the room was an insistent beeping. She finally looked down and what she saw there made her heart soar. The pain she had just felt faded away.

Beautiful blond tresses framed Lauren's face. Fast asleep with her head lying on the edge of Bo's bed. She was holding on to Bo's left hand and the brunette could feel the warmth radiating from their connection. Bo could see the steady rise and fall of Lauren's breathing, and so she lay perfectly still, trying not to waken the blonde. She wanted to stay in this moment, save it and keep it with her forever.

She knew that once the doctor woke up, she would storm out of the room and Bo would probably never get the chance to be this close to her again. A tear rolled down her cheek and she didn't bother to wipe it away. For the first time in a very long time, she was happy. She knew that she didn't deserve it, but right now she couldn't think about that; she just wanted to bask in the glow of the sleeping form of Lauren Lewis.

* * *

 ** _Flashback - Boston, February 2003, Bo's POV._**

"Lauren, are you home?" Bo's voice echoed in the large apartment. They had been living there for a little over five months now and the brunette had just gotten home from her job at the bar. The clock had just passed 11 pm and she walked across the living room and stopped outside of Lauren's room. She knocked lightly, assuming that the blonde was deep inside one of her medical books.

Lauren was well into her studies at Harvard and Bo had never seen her so confident, so enthusiastic. She was, probably for the first time, in her right element. High school must have been such a struggle for the younger woman, Bo thought. Never being appreciated for the genius she actually was, only getting picked on by idiots that didn't understand her. _'Envious assholes…'_

When there was no answer she knocked again, grabbing the handle she slowly opened the door. The room was dimly lit, the source of the light coming from the lamp sitting on the desk in the corner.

Bo stopped and smiled at the sight.

Lauren had fallen asleep, face down into one of her thick books. Her glasses were slightly bent beneath her head. This wasn't the first time Bo had found the younger woman like this, passed out on her desk. Bo walked over and softly laid her hand on the blonde's back.

"Lauren, sweetie, wake up…" Bo tried to lightly shake her. _'She must really be exhausted…_ ' She glanced over the desk. It was covered in handwritten notes, calculations, drawings of what she thought was lungs.

"Lauren, let's get you to bed, ok?" The blonde began to stir and Bo retracted her hand, confused by the feeling of loss she instantly felt.

Lauren slowly came to, lifting her head up from the book and turning to find Bo hovering over her.

"Bo? I'm sorry… I must have fallen asleep…" Lauren looked a bit disorientated with her glassed all crocked, sitting on her nose. Bo couldn't help but to lean down closer to her, and with their faces at the same level, she reached out with both hands and carefully adjusted them for the blonde, whispering "Yeah, I guess you must have… There you go…" in the process. She stood back up again and took a few steps back, swearing that she heard a small gasp from the blonde but thought nothing more of it.

"You know, one of these days you're going to suffocate in those musty books, falling asleep like that!" Lauren, who had stood up and was rubbing her tired eyes, laughed at that. "Yeah, well, I have you to save me, right?" The blonde joked but Bo thought she caught something else in the blonde's expression but it quickly disappeared.

"What time is it?" Lauren had walked over to the window, wrapping her arms around herself, seemingly chilled by the draft. She closed it and turned to Bo who still hovered by the desk.

"It's like 11.30… I just got home. Jack got offered to deliver a few kegs and bartend at a party in the city so he said he'd probably crash at Nathan's and come back in the morning. So I guess it's just you and me, Doc…"

Bo tried to sound chipper but the confusing feelings she had been experiencing whenever she was around the blonde woman had grown over the last few months. Living together had made it that much worse. Before moving to Boston, when she had only seen her one or two times a week, she had been able to ignore it. But constantly being this close to Lauren; sitting beside her at breakfast, accidently walking in her taking a shower… it was seriously beginning to mess with Bo's head.

Bo felt a strong, unexplainable pull towards the younger woman. She was ferociously protective of her and when she was at work she had noticed that her thought's always seemed to end up at something concerning Lauren. She just liked being near her.

It had gotten so bad that Bo had withdrawn herself from Jack, distancing herself physically and emotionally. She felt uncomfortable whenever he kissed her in front of Lauren or nuzzled up to her when all three of them were watching a movie.

Bo was confused. She didn't want to feel this way, she loved Jack but something just felt wrong. And just standing here, looking at the back of Lauren's slight form in front of the window… felt so right.

Bo sighed deeply, feeling both content and frustrated at the same time.

Lauren turned around, smiling warmly. "Ok… do you wanna watch a movie or something? It's Friday and I don't really want to go to sleep just yet… and seeing that I've already slept for a while I don't think I can sleep just yet anyway… you get to pick to movie?" Bo could never say no to Lauren so she agreed and they headed out into the living room. Lauren went to make some microwave popcorn and a few minutes later they were both seated on the dark-grey sofa, watching some Bruce Willis action movie the brunette had chosen.

Bo had taken the seat closest to the window, perching herself up to the armrest, trying to create as much space between Lauren and her as possible. She didn't trust herself being close to the blonde right now. Seemingly unaware, Lauren had spread herself up on the right side, pulling her legs up underneath her, covering them with a grey blanket. Bo placed the popcorn bowl in the empty seat between them, focusing almost solely on not reaching into the bowl at the same time as the blonde, accidently touching her hand.

"Are you ok, Bo? You look like you're cold… do you want a blanket or something?" Bo turned her head and found Lauren looking at her with concern in her eyes, indicating for the blanket in covering her own lap.

"Hmm, yeah, sure… I'll go get one, I think I have one in the bedroom…" Bo went to stand up when Lauren answered.

"No, no, I already warmed this one up, and it's big enough for the both of us. Just scoot over here…"

Lauren patted on the seat next to her, grabbing the bowl of popcorn and placing it in her lap. Bo swallowed the thickness that had formed in her throat. She was glad that the dark room hid her growing blush. She couldn't very well say no to the invitation, the blonde would think she was 'repelled' by her…. Remembering that endearing ramble Lauren had thrown at her in the car, almost a year ago…

She moved over to the middle seat, so close that her legs were in contact with Lauren's. She almost felt dizzy and had to close her eyes. The blonde didn't seem to notice as she placed the blanket over the both of them, accidently brushing her arm against Bo's chest. "Oh, sorry…" Lauren sounded strangely nervous, Bo thought to herself. The heat emitting from the legs of the woman next to her made it very hard to concentrate on the movie; Bo was thankful she had seen it ten times so when Lauren wanted to analyze it afterwards she'd actually be able to say something about it…. because so far, she hadn't heard a word of it.

Sometime during the movie Bo had finally relaxed a little, and had started to enjoy the film… and the closeness of the blonde next to her.

When it was over and the end credits were rolling, she felt an emptiness spread through her body as Lauren suddenly got up and announced that she was tired and was going to go to bed. Bo got up as well and they said their good nights.

Once Bo had climbed under the covers of Jack and her bed, her brain just wouldn't shut up.

 _'_ _What am I doing? She's my boyfriend's little sister… I can't… she makes me feel things I shouldn't, and she's so sweet and kind… and beautiful… and when her arm touched my breast I almost died… oh god…'_

Bo's inner monologue was suddenly interrupted by a small knock on her bedroom door. She shot up into a sitting position.

"Bo? Are you awake?" Lauren's small voice was barely heard though the door.

"Yes, come in…" Bo said hesitantly, her heart was beating like crazy in her chest.

The door opened and revealed the small form of the younger woman. "I'm sorry; I hope I didn't wake you…" Lauren looked a bit embarrassed and lost.

"No, it's totally fine, I was wide awake in fact…" Bo hoped that the blonde wouldn't ask why.

"Oh, ok… I think the window in my room kind of broke before when I tried to close it… and now there's a draft and I'm freezing to death in my room… I was just wondering if maybe… if you're ok with it….if I can sleep in here tonight?"

Bo almost died on the spot. _'This is not happening…'_ She began to panic, knowing that she couldn't say no, but desperately needing this to be some kind of dream that she would soon wake up from. She really didn't think she could handle sleeping in the same bed as the blonde. She was trying to be strong and ignore the growing feelings she had for Lauren, but someone up there had it in for her.

She realized that she still hadn't answered Lauren who spoke again, rousing her from her inner monologue.

"Ok, I understand, maybe it would be a little weird… I'll sleep on the couch… Jack can fix the window tomorrow…. Good night, Bo…" She turned around and went to close the door behind her when Bo finally found her vocal chords again.

"Lauren! Stop, please come back… I'm sorry; of course you can stay in here tonight." Bo reached and turned her bedside lamp on, casting a soft shimmer over the room. "Maybe I _was_ sleeping before…" She tried a small laugh and motioned for the blonde to get over there, reaching for the covers on Jack's side and held them up for her.

Once Lauren got in she lay on her back, pulling the covers all the way up around her. She turned her head to face Bo, who didn't really know where to look.

"Thank you… I guess you saved me again…" The blonde said softly. Bo turned to look at her and her breath got caught in her throat by the sight of Lauren this close to her… and in her bed no less. Bo could smell the natural scent that was all Lauren, and it was intoxicating. She took a deep breath and answered.

"Yeah… I… no worries…" She quickly turned around to shut the light off, desperately needing a diversion. If the blonde kept staring at her like that Bo could not be held responsible for her actions.

"Are you starting to warm up yet…?" Bo said into the darkness. She could hear Lauren shift beside her, and suddenly she felt a warm breath grazing her neck. It seemed that the blonde had turned and ended up much closer to Bo. Bo was now having a hard time breathing, her breath suddenly shallow and fast.

She could feel the words against her skin as they were spoken.

"Yeah, I'm getting warmer…" the words had been more like a whisper but they set Bo's whole world on fire. She couldn't stand it much longer, every cell in her body screamed for release, urging her to turn and pounce on the gorgeous woman next to her.

She almost did, but just then she felt the softest lips she'd ever experienced, brushing feather-lightly across her cheek, followed by a soft "Good night, Bo, sweet dreams…"

Bo's eyes swelled with tears as she felt the bed shift again as Lauren turned away from her, getting comfortable under the covers.

She couldn't breathe as the first tear fell, paving the way for the rest to follow. She cried in silence until she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

 ** _End of Flashback_**

* * *

 ** _Present time…_**

Bo didn't know for how long she'd just laid there, gazing at the blonde doctor, remembering that bittersweet night. Movement outside the glass door caught her eye and she could see Kenzi waving at her. She was happy to see her friend but she knew that as soon as Kenzi would open the door the now sleeping woman would wake up. She held up her right hand with all five fingers spread out, trying to communicate to the woman outside that she needed five more minutes.

Kenzi had stood there for a while, observing Bo as she watched the Doc sleep. The sight had confirmed all her suspicions about how her best friend felt about the good Doctor Lewis.

When Bo held up her hand, asking for a few more minutes creeping on the doc, Kenzi nodded and sat down on the chair outside the door, guarding it if anyone else would want to go in and ruin the moment between the two clueless, wannabe lovers.

Bo knew that she would have to wake Lauren up, it was morning and their 'moment' had passed. She hoped that the memory of this, waking up to the sweet vision of Lauren's face, would stay with her for a long time. Sighing deeply with regret for what she was about to do, she carefully withdrew her hand from Lauren's tight grip. The blonde stirred somewhat but did not yet wake. Bo reached out and touched the side of Lauren's cheek, lightly caressing it with the tips of her fingers. The skin was so soft that Bo momentarily forgot that she needed to wake the woman up. She kept stroking her cheek.

"Lauren, sweetie, you need to wake up…" Repeating the words she'd spoken so long ago felt bittersweet but Bo didn't stop.

Lauren stirred, her tired eyes opened and connected with Bo's. For a fragment of a second Bo saw something, the same something she'd seen all those years ago but had been too messed up and scared to even dare to read more into. The brunette hadn't stopped caressing her cheek and she gave the blonde a crooked smile, and she could see that Lauren began to mirror it. But then the moment Bo had dreaded, came.

Lauren seemed to suddenly remember where she was and abruptly sat up and Bo's quickly retracted her hand.

* * *

 ** _Lauren's POV…_**

"Bo, I'm so sorry…" Lauren was frazzled, her eyes darting around the room, still sleepy. She reached up and rubbed her eyes then she slowly turned to look at the woman lying in the hospital bed, smiling for some reason.

 _'_ _Oh god, this is so embarrassing… have I been sleeping here the whole night? And I was holding her hand… I really hope she didn't see that… She's gonna think I'm a creepy… doctor… something… this is not ok…'_

Bo's voice brought her back from her internal panic attack.

"It's ok, Lauren, really, it's actually nice to see you this relaxed, well, at least you were relaxed before you woke up…" However sweet the words coming out of Bo's mouth was, it didn't do anything to calm Lauren down. Then she remembered why the brunette ended up in this bed in the first place. She looked up at Bo. Seeing the now rather alert woman, she did in fact relax; it meant that she was healing nicely and would probably make a quick recovery.

"Bo, how are you feeling? Do you remembering anything from yesterday?" Lauren tried to go into doctor mode but the turbulence of yesterday had left her emotions on her sleeve, and she didn't know how to stuff them back in again.

Bo reached up and touched the area where the patch was on the left side of her forehead.

"I'm feeling fine… really. I just got a nasty headache and I seem to have a band-aid up here… and the fact that I'm in your bed…. mmm, your _hospital_ bed, I mean… " Lauren swallowed as she saw the smirk on Bo's lips as she slipped up in her description. Bo continued.

"…I'd say something happened yesterday… and it didn't end with me falling asleep in my own bed… because that would be sorta creepy… didn't think kidnapping was on your repertoire, Doctor Lewis?" The smirk on the brunette's face grew; she was looking fairly pleased with herself.

"Well, it's good to know you haven't lost your sense of humor, Bo." Lauren shook her head but couldn't help but chuckle at the other woman.

"First, I want you to know that you will be perfectly fine, ok?" Bo nodded at this.

"You were in an accident, you and _Sam_ were out surfing and you fell… your surfboard hit you in the head and knocked you unconscious. Sam rushed you in here and I examined you, only finding a gash in your forehead, which you've already noticed. We also did a head-CT, I just needed to be sure… that there was no bleeding or… I mean, I… I needed to know you were fine… " Lauren heard her voice break and had to pause, feeling herself getting more emotional with every word.

The fear she had felt yesterday came rushing back along with the vivid images of Bo, bleeding and unconscious. She needed to snap out of it, this was not how a professional spoke to her patient. Bo was still looking at her with her big beautiful eyes, she even looked concerned. ' _Is she concerned about herself or me? I need to shut up and get out of here…_ '

She forced a smile, but she was sure that Bo had caught on the distraught tone in her voice.

"I'm sorry; I guess I haven't really woken up yet…." Lauren looked away as the first tear threatened to spill. _'I can't cry in front of her…. Please don't….'_ She was forced out of her head when she suddenly felt Bo's hand cover hers. She felt bursts of electricity travelling all the way up her arm. She turned back to Bo.

"Thank you Lauren, I'm sorry I put you through that…" Bo said, honesty shining in her eyes. She felt Bo squeeze her hand and felt ashamed that the brunette was apologizing to her.

"It's my job, Bo. Don't apologize… I'm glad you are ok…" She let the words hang in the air for a second, while looking intently at Bo. She felt herself calming down, finding comfort in her own words.

"…anyway; you have a mild concussion which will get better in a couple of days. But I'm recommending at least one week of rest. And I don't want you surfing for at least two." Bo went to object but Lauren continued "I'm serious, Bo. You were lucky, a blow to the head like that… we were lucky… "She breathed out the last words. If Bo noticed the slip up, _'we'_ , she didn't show it.

"And the cut on your forehead, I sutured it up, and I expect there to be next-to no scarring…" She motioned for the patch on Bo's head.

"… I'm _that_ good…" Lauren tried to lighten up the mood and as this earned a wide smile from the brunette she'd say she succeeded. The tears that had threatened to spill before had disappeared and Lauren felt relieved.

"I always knew you'd be _that good_ , Lauren…" Leave it to Bo to turn that into something dirty. The brunette had raised a perfect eyebrow and the blonde just laughed, trying to ignore the feeling that Bo was in fact flirting with her. This was somewhat new territory for the both of them and it scared Lauren how easy it would be to flirt back.

Lauren knew she should be angry at the brunette, but she just couldn't find the strength to do it today, maybe tomorrow. The revelation she'd had yesterday had made some things more clear, and all the more messed up. But she knew that she could never hate this woman, however much she needed and wanted to.

Lauren stood up; releasing the soft hand that had held on to hers for the duration of their conversation. She instantly missed it.

"So, I just need to run some simple tests, and check your stats, and when Kenzi comes I think she can take you home, does that sound ok?" She was happy that she had succeeded in sounding more like a doctor this time.

"Yeah, well, I think Kenzi is actually right outside, I just saw her…" Lauren's eyes shot up, panic rising in her once more. _'Did Kenzi see me sleeping in here?! I'll never live that one down…'_

"Oh… Ok, I'll go see if I can find her then…" Lauren walked over to the door and opened it; finding the petit woman right outside the door.

"Kenzi, I see you made the flight, it was good of you to come so quickly." She smiled at the shorter woman, indicating for her to step into the room. "Come on in, Bo's awake and she's recovered nicely since yesterday." Lauren tried to calm her nerves, holding up the door for Kenzi to walk through.

"Hello Doc! Thanks for saving my Bestie; I owe you a big one!" She walked closer to Bo. "And you, missy, scared the bejeezzus outa me, don't friggin' do that again! No more surfing for you, young lady!" She leaned over and hugged Bo. Lauren secretly loved the way Kenzi and Bo interacted.

"It's nice to see you too, Kenz…" Bo laughed.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while, I'll be back to do some tests in a little while, Bo." With that Lauren walked out of the room, a sense of relief washing over her, as she was sure that the younger woman would have most definitely commented on Lauren's sleeping arrangements last night, had she seen it. She had just set her foot outside the room when she heard Kenzi calling after her.

"Great Doc, and thanks again for taking care of Bo, _all night long_ …." The last three words were sort of sung out.

Lauren flinched and closed her eyes, but she didn't stop walking; she took what was left of her dignity and professionalism and walked out.

* * *

 _This was the longest chapter I've posted so far, hope you liked it! I have the next chapter all written up and I will post it this week… reviews may help speed it up… ;) Take care/mliess_


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you all so much for the reviews! As promised; here's a new chapter!_

 _Enjoy! /mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 ** _Flashback - Lauren's POV_**

 _'_ _What have I done? I just couldn't help it… it was only a kiss on the cheek, right? '_

Lauren had turned away from Bo, after having kissed her on the cheek, saying 'good night, sweet dreams…' and she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

 _'_ _it felt so good… her skin is so soft, and she smells like coconuts…I can't believe I'm in her bed… couldn't I just have stayed on the couch? Stupid, stupid Lauren! She's my brother's girlfriend for crying out loud! Jack loves her. And she loves him…. This is just a small crush… I will get over it… I've only had it for… oh, I don't know…. Two years…it's just a phase… right? I don't know what possessed me this evening… asking her to share my blanket? What was I thinking?! I just thought she looked so stiff and cold sitting on the other side of the coach, I didn't really think it through… I should have just given her the blanket, then I wouldn't have to sit so damn close to her… her arm and leg touching mine… I felt every breath she took… when the end credits rolled I just couldn't stand it anymore, I had to get away from her… and now I'm here, in her bed… you know, Lewis, for a genius, you're not really that smart…'_

Lauren had been struggling ever since all three of them had moved into the apartment. At first she'd been excited about it; she was going to live with the two people she cared for most in this world. But after realizing that it included watching Bo, strutting around half naked, only clad in some miniature shorts and a tank top, most of the time; it had actually been hell on earth.

Lauren loved her big brother.

Jack had always been good to her. He'd been her friend when everyone else thought she was nerdy and weird. He'd dragged her along to his football games, always making sure she was ok. He was her big brother, the best one anyone could ever ask for.

And here she was, crushing on his girlfriend. Lauren had started to really loathe herself lately. Whenever she saw Jack lean in to kiss Bo, she found herself looking away, not being able to stand the sight.

She wanted Jack to be happy, and she had never seen him this happy, being with Bo.

She inhaled deeply, adjusting into the pillow; Jack's pillow. Her heart broke at the realization. She needed to get over the brunette, currently sleeping behind her. She needed to find a way to move on. She needed a plan.

 _'_ _As of tomorrow, I will try to socialize more… maybe I'll meet someone else? I'm seventeen years old and I've never even been on a date… I'm pathetic… maybe that guy in my study group? He keeps looking at me when he thinks I don't notice. I don't even know if I think he's attractive but I need to try. Maybe I'll realize that there are other people out there. Who are kind, beautiful… smells heavenly, not coconut-ly… who laughs at my stupid jokes… other people than Bo… with eyes like the richest chocolate that bore into your very soul… that really sees you for who you are… and makes you stronger, builds you up…. Makes your heart feel warm and cozy… yep! I'll find someone like that just around the corner! But maybe I could settle for less than that? I can't have it all, and I need to adjust my expectations accordingly. So… come Monday morning…I'll start looking for an average kind of love… great plan, Lewis….'_

With that inner monologue continuing for a couple of hours, Lauren finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Lauren slowly opened her eyes, squinting them to shield them from the morning light that was streaming in from the window. She suddenly realized that she wasn't in her room. Becoming more and more aware of her surroundings she also realized that she was laying on to her left side and that an arm was thrown around her waist; an arm that wasn't her own. A hand held onto hers in a tight grip, and she could feel the warmth of a slow breath in her neck.

The memories of yesterday came rushing back to her as she realized that it was in fact Bo's arm that was draped over her, possessively holding her close.

For a second Lauren closed her eyes and let herself imagine that she could wake up like this every morning; with Bo nuzzling her from behind.

Her breath was tickling Lauren's ear in a delightful way that sent a tingling sensation all the way down her stomach, and further down to where she needed it the most. She almost felt dizzy when she moved her thighs slightly, inadvertently rubbing them against her already heated core. She felt the woman behind her move and she feared that she had woken her up. Instead Bo moved closer to her, her arm tightening her hold, and she snuggled even more into Lauren's hair. The blonde could suddenly feel Bo's lips grazing her neck and she almost died on the spot.

 _'_ _Bo is sleeping, she's not aware of what she's doing… oh, god…'_

That was the last coherent thought Lauren had when she suddenly felt Bo's arm and hand move once again, travelling up her torso and ending up with her palm against the blonde's chest, right between her breasts. Then she heard Bo moaning softly against her skin. It was so soft that if Lauren hadn't felt it, she would have thought she was dreaming.

Lauren couldn't breathe. It was a bittersweet situation… but it was all hers. Bo's naked legs were moving up against Lauren's and the heat emitting from them was going to burn her alive. She heard Bo moan again, and she felt those glorious lips grazing her neck once more.

 _'_ _She's dreaming, and she probably thinks I'm Jack, that must be it…but she really needs to stop doing that…'_

Lauren felt her whole body start to tremble, she could stop it. She had never been this intimate with anyone… and this wasn't just anyone; it was Bo! It was almost sending her over the edge, feeling Bo rub against her like this; even if she _was_ sleeping. Lauren's head was in a daze and all she could focus on was the warm breath against her and the sensation of Bo's entire body pressed into her. What finally brought her over the edge was when Bo moaned again, but this time she swore she could hear her say "…oh, Lauren…"

The blonde couldn't stop it, the combination of Bo's skin against her own, her lips on her neck, her breath warm and tickling her in just the right spot, and finally her name spilling across the lips of the woman she was crushing hard on… she started to vibrate, shaking from within, drawing in shallow breaths as an explosion rippled through her. She had never before experienced anything like it, and it was tearing her apart from the inside. She felt herself go rigid at the culmination of it, not being able to breathe for what felt like forever… and then she felt warmth spread throughout her whole body, as she began to come down for the high.

When she came to, she started to panic, what if Bo had wakened up to find Lauren in this state? She lay perfectly still, trying to catch her breath. Bo was breathing evenly, seemingly asleep and Lauren thanked whatever powers that had kept the brunette from waking up.

Suddenly she heard the front door open and keys being thrown on the kitchen table.

 _'_ _Oh, no, Jack's home…. He can't find us like this…'_

Still flushed and a little woozy, Lauren quickly but carefully detangled herself from Bo, who thankfully didn't wake. Lauren cast one last gaze on the sleeping goddess and felt a sting in her heart. She left the room and went to greet her brother.

Closing the door gently behind her, she came eye to eye with Jack, who had a curious look on his face.

"Morning, sis! Why is it so friggin' cold in here?" He didn't seem to notice her crimson stained cheeks and moved towards the kitchen.

"Oh, right…umm… the window in my bedroom seems to be broken, I tried to close it but… I had to ask Bo if I could stay in your room last night, or I would have died from the cold… maybe you can try, to fix the window I mean?" she tried not to think about what had just occurred in their bedroom and the physical effects it was still having on her balance. She walked over to the kitchen island and sat down, careful not to wobble.

Jack, who was taller and bulkier than his sister, and with a dirtier kind of blonde in his hair, opened the fridge and grabbed a cart of milk. He poured himself a glass and turned around offering Lauren some, who declined with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, I'll check it out." He then took at long gulp of the white liquid, emptying the glass in seconds.

"So, how was work last night, you slept at Nathan's?" Lauren tried to act as normal as possible, finding it hard not to let the fact that she'd just had her first orgasm, while lying in the arms of her brother's sleeping girlfriend, take over all of her thoughts. She would never forgive herself. She wowed to never get close to the brunette ever again.

 _'_ _I will not touch her, hug her, sit next to her… look at her…'_

Her resolve wavered as she listed the various situations in which she would avoid contact with Bo. She couldn't stay completely away… they did live together… But she would stay in her room even more; avoid as much interaction as possible.

She could hear her brother answer her question but she did not listen to the words, just nodding when she thought it would fit.

Suddenly she heard movement coming from the bedroom, she knew that Bo must have woken up and would be out here any second now.

"I think I'll go take a shower, and then I have to study, so I'll probably be in my room for the rest of the day… could you take a look at the window, though?" She probably interrupted Jack but she couldn't care about that. She was terrified to come face to face with Bo right now. She rushed off before her brother had any time to answer. Before she closed the bathroom door she could here Bo's sweet voice, saying 'good morning' to Jack. She locked the door behind her. As the first drops of warm water reached her face, so did her tears.

* * *

 ** _Present time…_**

Lauren opened her front door and stepped inside. She placed her bag at the kitchen counter, kicked off her shoes and walked over to the large couch in the living room and threw herself down on it. It had been a long day, and the clock was only past noon.

After Kenzi's little comment, where she acknowledged that she indeed had caught Lauren sleeping on Bo's bed, it had taken the blonde an hour to find the courage to enter the room again. And it wasn't really facing Kenzi she was dreading. It was Bo.

She had woken up to find Bo looking down on her, gently caressing her cheek, urging her gently to wake up. It was all too confusing and daunting to process. She hadn't meant to fall asleep in there, it just happened. Surely Bo would understand that it was a mistake? Officially, Lauren was still mad at the brunette, and even though Lauren had been faced with the true nature of her feelings yesterday, nothing else had really changed.

Bo had still left her brother, crushing him. Bo had still left Lauren. And even if she had been unaware of Lauren's feeling towards her, they had still been friends… and Bo was still not gay…. Which was a small, but oh so significant, detail.

So it didn't matter that Lauren now was clear on her feelings; that she in fact had been in love with Bo all this time. Bo was still nowhere within her reach, anyway. The best thing Lauren could ever really hope for was to be friends with the brunette again.

But did she really want to? What good had it ever led to, being friends with her? Yes, Bo had given her so much. She made Lauren feel good about herself in a way no one ever had before her or ever had since.

But was it really worth it?

Even if they would become friends again, Bo would go on and date other people, eventually marrying someone else, probably, and Lauren would be left standing there alone, again.

But this time at least it wouldn't be to her brother; which was a small silver lining in this whole mess. But she would just be repeating the past; torturing herself just to be close to this woman.

She should just leave Bo alone and cut her out of her life.

But she really had tried to do that ever since she came to this island and see how well that went! Bo always seemed to sneak back in, tearing down the walls she'd built around her heart as though they were thin paper.

But she couldn't deny it; Bo… felt like home. She made her feel safe. She still looked at her in a way no one else did… like no one else in the world mattered but them. Just knowing she was on the same island as the brunette gave Lauren a sense of peace; being close to Bo just felt right.

' _So what's the plan this time, Lewis? Huh? Be friendly but not friends? Start socializing with others? Seeing how well that plan ended last time… well, now at least when I know that I'm not into men, that one small detail… it will as least give me a running chance… so, I should try to find someone to date, right? Since coming here I don't think my gaydar has gone off once… so maybe there aren't any lesbians on this island… or maybe my focus had been directed somewhere else… I wonder where…'_

With those thought spinning around in her head she found herself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 _Sooo… What a nice way to wake up, don't you think, with Bo wrapped around you? ;)_

 _Should the good Doctor Lewis take Bo back into her life? Should she go onto dating someone else?_

 _I will update soon, have the next chapter almost done! Take care! /mliess_


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you all again for your reviews and comments, I really appreciate every single one of you!_

 _I wish I could have been in Atlanta these last few days, at the Dragon Con and meet the lovely cast of Lost Girl._ _They seem to be genuinely nice and real sweet hearts!_ _I'm happy for all of the people who got to see them! :)_

 _But instead, I write ;)_

 _Enjoy!/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

"Kenz, I'm all right, you don't need to coddle me…" Bo said grumpily, sitting in the middle of her large bed. They had just gotten back from the clinic and Kenzi had insisted on that Bo should go straight up to bed and stay there.

Kenzi had just entered the bedroom, carrying a large tray with a sandwich and a large glass of juice.

"Dr. Hotpants told you to rest and that's what you're gonna do… if you get out of that bed, for anything other than going to the bathroom, my punishment will be swift and bloody, missy!"

She put the tray down beside Bo and sat herself on the edge of the bed.

Bo glared at her and then looked at the tray.

"That actually doesn't look half bad, you made this?" She raised a perfect eyebrow in disbelief at the younger woman.

"I'll have you know that I'm perfectly capable to make a sandwich for you… but… no, I didn't make specifically this one…" She pointed to the large sub sitting on the tray and looked a little offended. "… Hale's downstairs, he's excellent at making sandwiches so I called him…" She turned to smile at Bo at her confession.

Bo laughed at this. "Don't ever change, Kenz, I love you just the way you are!" Kenzi's smile slowly turned into a smirk.

"Well, speaking of the "L" word; I know someone else you _lurve_ … did you and Dr. Lauren have a nice nap together?" The smirk on the younger woman's face was growing by the second, as though she had stuck gold.

Bo didn't look at Kenzi; instead she took a big bite out of the sandwich Hale had made for her.

"Oh wow, this is delicious!" she said with her mouth full, still happily ignoring her remark which was still hanging in the air.

"You know, you should really try Hale's _sandwich_ , Kenz, I bet it's _awesome_ …" She said in a tone that made her friend blush furiously. "Schhh…." Kenzi reached out and smacked Bo lightly on the arm.

"Hey, watch it, injured woman here!" She laughed again. Bo had tried to divert her friend's inquiries about Lauren and her, but she knew that she was just delaying the inevitable.

"Seriously Bo, what's up with you two? Last time I saw you together she was screaming at you, and you were a mess afterwards. Now I catch you ogling her while she's sleeping… on your bed none the less! You told me that you were friends back in the day… but the way you were looking at her… all gooey-eyed and lovingly… explain, please!"

Bo knew this was it, she couldn't keep it from Kenzi any longer, and she did really need to talk about it. It had been eating at her for a long time.

"All right… But Kenz, I need you to promise me you won't talk or even hint this to Lauren, I know you like to play matchmaker, but I'm asking you not to this time. Promise me?" Bo looked at her friend with seriousness in her eyes.

"Yes, of course, I don't even like to match-make… where did you get that crazy idea?" She smiled innocently but she could see that Bo wasn't about to back down. "Yes, I promise…" She huffed.

"Ok, I don't know where to start…" Bo frowned and bit her lower lip; trying to think of how to explain it all... it was just so complicated.

"Let me try, Bo Bo…" Kenzi interrupted her. "You dated the brother, fell in love with his little sis along the way… you couldn't say anything 'cause of the whole sibling-thing, and when he proposed you freaked out and ran away... How was that?"

Bo's jaw was hanging wide open. She was speechless. Kenzi had managed to sum up the single most difficult experience of her life in a few words.

"Well, yeah… actually, yes." She mustered out, looking

"I get it Bo, I don't think I would have done anything different if I were in your shoes… well, it would have to be two brother's cause I'm not lovin' the ladies but still, what could you have done?!"

"I don't know… I just wish I had done things… better…" Bo looked down on her hands, the guilt overwhelming her.

"If you would have broken up with Jack, he would have hated you… if you would have confessed your love to little-doc, she wouldn't have been able to date you, because of her brother… hmm, side note; do we know if Lauren is a lady-lover or not?"

"No, I don't know… probably not? I mean, I might have googled her once or twice through the years, and every time she won some prestigious award they've taken her picture, but she never brought a date; at least no one that was caught on any pictures… It doesn't matter anyway, she hates me…" Bo's voice broke, she drew a quick breath before continuing.

"And she had every right to. And even if she were gay, she would never trust me again, and I know how close she and her brother were. She would never betray him like that. She's loyal… and trustworthy and noble. And I love that about her…."

"So you do love her… when did you know? Did you ever… you know…fool around back then?" Kenzi smiled excitedly, looking like she was about to pull out a large popcorn bowl and enjoy the show.

"No, no, it wasn't like that. She was fifteen when I first talked to her and sure, she was beautiful and she made me feel something... Something I didn't understand back then, but I was immature and shallow… and I would probably still be if it wasn't for her. Getting to know her made me a better person. I began to see things differently. And then Jack asked me out, and he was so handsome and he kind of reminded me of her, you know? It was a very confusing time. But after she started tutoring me we became friends and I just thought that I liked her so much because we were such good friends." Bo shifted in her bed, pulling her knees up chest and hugging them.

"But after we moved to Boston it became more difficult to ignore the attraction. I accidently walked in on her showering one time, and I froze. She hadn't heard me and I just stood there, watching her. She was so beautiful Kenz, and I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I had fooled myself into believing that I loved her like a friend, that it was why I thought about her all the time, wanting to be around her constantly… I used to find reasons to touch her, you know? Small things… like her arm or hug her more often than necessarily, but I just never caught on, you know?" Bo looked at Kenzi with tortured eyes, shaking her head slowly. Kenzi placed a small hand on her knee in comfort.

"But when I saw her body, naked… I mean, wow… it was like a switch had gone off in my head… and everything just went from being grey to… color, you know? I just went weak in the knees, I'd never been that attracted to anyone…" Kenzi was now looking at her with a big smirk across her face, raising an eyebrow.

"I know what you're thinking, Kenz, but she had just turned 17 and I was still 18… she's only like 14 months younger than I am…. So I wasn't _that_ creepy…. Don't give me that look… everything just made sense, what I had been feeling, why I had been so confused…" Bo gave her friend a cautionary stare and continued when Kenzi chuckled and nodded.

"Anyway… I couldn't deny my attraction after that." Bo shook her head. "One night, when Jack was working late out of town and he had to crash at a friend's house; the window broke in her room and since it was still snowing outside she had to stay the night in our room, so she wouldn't freeze to death…. I cried the whole night through, having her that close and not being able to hold her, it nearly broke me, Kenz… I didn't know what to do… but the day after; I woke up alone, and when I saw her later that day she was acting all weird and she stayed in her room a lot after that. I actually went home for a couple of weeks to visit my grandfather; I just needed to get out of there, get some distance between us…."

"And when I returned… well, I decided to push down and ignore all my feelings for her…. Which was easier said than done… But I mean, I loved Jack. But I didn't know if I was _in_ love with him anymore, or if I ever really had been… So I tried to focus on that, giving us one last chance…. But Lauren and I never really… got back to the place we were before, not really...and how could we after I realized how I felt? but I missed her, desperately. And I could see it in her eyes that she knew that something had changed… so I couldn't just avoid her any longer… I tried to fool myself into believing that we could _just_ be friends, and that it didn't matter how I felt… but towards the end it almost killed me, not being able to be with her when every fiber in my body just craved her… "

Bo was crying softly by now and Kenzi went to hold her.

"It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, Kenz… leaving her…." Bo breathed out between the sobs.

"But maybe, Bo, you've been given a second chance, Lauren is _here_. Of all the places on earth a woman of her talents could have ended up, she is here." Kenzi released Bo from the hug to look at her. She tried to smile hopefully at the tear-stricken woman.

"And I can fake getting worse, or catching some weird disease if it means my father will keep her here forever." Bo laughed trough the tears, sniffing lightly.

"Thanks, Kenz…" The tears were beginning to subside.

"So, what's the plan, Bobolicious? I mean, even if the good doctor isn't gay, maybe she'd be gay for you? I've seen it happen, don't deny it!" Kenzi pointed a finger at Bo, indicating that she was being serious. "And anyways, I've actually seen the way she looks at you, and it's not at all in an innocent 'we-used-to-be-friends' sort of way… and whenever I bring you up when I'm at the clinic, her eyes just lit up, you know… she's into you, I'm sure of it!"

"Kenzi, you promised to stay out of this. I don't want you to dig into it; I just want her to stop hating me… I can't stand to see the pain in her eyes whenever she looks at me. I don't think that she would ever…feel that way about me… but if I just could have her in my life… I'd be… happy?" Bo wiped away the last stray tear and tried to muster up a smile.

Kenzi saw right through it… Bo would never be satisfied with less than the whole… package… which was Lauren Lewis, MD. But the younger woman decided to play along with Bo's theory, for now.

"So, you're saying that you would be happy if you two went back to being friends?" Kenzi raised an eyebrow at the brunette.

"I think that is the best I will get; if even that… right now I'd be happy to just have her not hate me…"

Bo looked at her hands once again, nodding to herself. She had no illusions that Lauren would ever reciprocate her strong feelings, but in time maybe the blonde would look at her without all that hurt and pain in her eyes.

"Tiny steps…" She looked hopefully at her best friend.

* * *

Hale had eventually left, having work to do for her father. Kenzi was just about to bite into one of Hale's sandwiches, chuckling a little to herself as she remembered Bo's joke from before. The brunette had been exhausted after their talk, so Kenzi had tucked her in and left her to get some rest.

She was impressed that her friend had managed to sleep for four hours straight, since she hadn't heard a single movement from upstairs. After their talk she had thought a lot about what Bo had told her. Her heart went out to her best friend. Bo had rarely spoken about her past, only a few bits and pieces. And now she finally understood why. The pain and regret she'd witnessed in Bo's eyes, her whole body really, was so profound she just wanted to reach into her chest and draw it out of her.

She knew that she had indeed promised Bo to stay out of it. But right now, while eating this delicious sandwich, 'it' was sort of up for interpretation. Bo had said to not hint or talk to Lauren about Bo's feelings towards the blonde, and forbid her to play matchmaker. But Kenzi was an expert on finding loop-holes; an expertise she would fully use in order to help her best friend.

Just as she was about to take another big bite, the doorbell rang _. 'Oh, that must be Dr. Hotpants… she said she'd swing by to check-up on Bo…'_ kenzi couldn't hide the Cheshire smirk _'…more like check out… internal hightfive, Kenz!_ '

The petite woman went to open the door.

* * *

Lauren had woken up in panic, instantly knowing she was late for something. She sat up and checked the time on her phone. _'Ok, it's only 5 pm, I told Bo I'd be by later… so I'm not technically late… it's really all her fault, I hardly got any sleep last night… and the sleep I did get was… what am I saying? I can't blame her for this. I can blame her for a lot of things but not getting a concussion and ending up in my clinic where I held her hand and slept on her bed while she was unconscious… She must think I'm so creepy…'_

Lauren felt a blush spreading up her cheeks just thinking about it. She tightened her jaw and got up. She felt like crap, sweaty and weary, she definitely needed a shower and a change of clothes before going to see Bo.

When Kenzi opened the door wearing a sort of creepy smirk, Lauren couldn't help but feel the blush from before return in full force.

"Well, hello there, Dr. Lewis. Are you here to check on Bo? Come on in!" The blonde didn't like the tone Kenzi had, it felt like she could read all of Lauren's thoughts just by looking at her. She tried to shake the feeling off and stepped inside the house, her bag with medical supplies in tow. She had opted for light blue skinny jeans and a white long blouse.

"Hi, Kenzi, yes, how is she doing?" Kenzi closed the door behind them and followed Lauren into the living-room where the doctor turned to face her.

"She's actually been asleep for about four hours… she was out like a light once she got into bed." Kenzi consciously left out the part about where Bo revealed all of her deep romantic feelings for Lauren; telling her that would defiantly break the promise she had made.

"Oh, that's good… a trauma like this can only be healed with time and a lot of rest… so it's good… that she's resting, I mean…" Lauren was rambling again, her nerves acting up again.

"Yeah, I guess that means I'm on nurse-duty for a while then. But I'll tell you, she's not a very good patient. She's a stubborn, hard-headed… woman, who doesn't like to be coddled with… But I've threatened her not to get up on her own; she was a bit wobbly when I led her from the car up to her room…"

Lauren could tell that Kenzi was a great friend who cared deeply for Bo.

"I'm glad she has you, Kenzi, you're a good friend…." Kenzi picked up on the sadness behind those words, even if Lauren genuinely seemed to mean them. Lauren went to turn around and head up the stairs but stopped when Kenzi spoke again.

"You know, Lauren, Bo is a pretty great friend as well… " Lauren observed the younger woman, not really knowing where she was going with this, but she turned back fully and let her continue.

"She's the best friend I've ever had. When we met she saw beyond my disease, and I was really weak back then before my transplant… she never pitied me. She stood up for me, helped me help myself… and she was there through….what we thought was the end… and when I finally got the call that there was a heart for me, nobody was happier than she…" Kenzi smiled, and Lauren thought that she'd never seen this side of her. She also tried to imagine Bo in the situation the petite woman was speaking of.

Lauren had witnessed all kinds of relationships around a patient who was waiting for an organ. The despair, the uncertainty… and she'd seen friends desert her patients… they were few but they still existed. People who couldn't handle their friends being sick, and left…showing that they weren't true friends from the beginning, or good people, really… and then there were the ones who stayed, through it all.

If someone would have asked Lauren three months ago, what kind of person Bo would be, she would have said the former… she was the kind of person who ran when things got tough. But standing here, listening to Kenzi, her resolve was starting to waiver… maybe Bo really was the kind of person who stayed? Or maybe she had become that person with time?

"What I mean to say is this; I know you two have some kind of history, and all she's told me is that she hurt you really bad… and she actually doesn't think that she deserves to be forgiven…" Kenzi paused before continuing.

"But Lauren, she really _is_ a good person; one of the best. And whatever she did to make you hate her... or whatever, maybe… in time… you might just give her the chance to explain herself? She's worth it, you know?" The younger woman nodded slowly to make her point across, looking vulnerable and strong at the same time.

Lauren was baffled by the honesty in Kenzi's voice. She didn't really know what to make of it. In all the time Lauren had known Kenzi, she had always hidden behind her humor. But the words coming for the smaller woman threw her and she really did believe that it was the truth. Lauren wondered briefly if Bo had told her friend more than she was letting on but it didn't really matter.

Lauren opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Kenzi took the opportunity to say one more thing.

"I just thought I'd throw my two cents in, you know, I can see that you care about her more than you'd probably like… and believe me, I know pain; and being so angry at the world and everyone in it, that you feel the need to lash out… I get it. But I also believe in second chances… and taking chances… I would be here if I didn't. So, take a chance… you might just be surprised…." Kenzi smiled at that, raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

Lauren still didn't know what to say. The complete 180-turn Kenzi had taken, showing her true self, and that she wanted Lauren to give Bo a second chance, threw her mind into a tailspin.

"Kenzi… I, um… what happened, with Bo, back then… it's complicated, and I… well, I don't know what to say really…. But thank you for telling me; like I said, Bo's lucky to have you." The blonde nodded and gazed reflectively out the window for a moment before turning back at Kenzi.

"Yeah, well, I just needed to say it. And if you could, maybe you don't have to tell Bo that I said all those things, she'll have my head on a platter… even in her current wobbly state…"

"Your secret is safe with me…" Lauren winked at the younger woman who visibly relaxed.

"So, get up there and check-up on my gurl… it's the door on the left." Kenzi pointed up towards the second floor and Lauren once again nodded and headed upstairs.

* * *

 _Sooo…. A little more of their history revealed… Will Kenzi's speech be enough to get Lauren to give Bo a new chance? Can Bo really be content with just being friends with the good Doctor? All will be revealed in time… ;)_

 _Take care for now!/mliess_


	13. Chapter 13

_I love all your thought and comments, you guys are my fuel! :)_

 _I hope you like the chapter, hint; Lauren will enter Bo's bedroom, and hold a pair of her panties… enjoy!_

 _/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

Lauren lightly knocked on Bo's bedroom door. Getting no answer she knocked again. Still getting no answer she slowly opened the door and peeked inside.

She found a spacious, warm, yet sparsely decorated room with a large king size bed facing a glass wall overlooking the ocean. There was even a balcony stretching across the whole side. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

"Bo?" She looked closer at the bed and realized that Bo wasn't in it. She looked around the room, finding a door, which she gathered either was a closet or a bathroom. She took a few steps closer and knocked on the closed door.

"Bo, are you in there?" Lauren tried.

"Yes…" There was an answer a moment later from behind the door. The echo told the blonde that it indeed was a bathroom.

"Lauren, is that you?" Bo sounded tired, and something about her voice felt off to Lauren, and once again the familiar feeling of panic started to spread through her like a wildfire.

"Are you all right?" Lauren tried to sound calm but her insides screamed at her to open the door and help Bo with whatever made her sound so strange.

"Yes… well, no… I…um, I'm a bit dizzy so I'm waiting for it to end so I can get up…"

"Did you fall, Bo? Are you hurt? Can I come in?" The questions were flying out of Lauren's mouth before she could stop them.

"No, no… I sat down when it started to spin… I'm ok, but, don't come in… I'm… _naked_ … I was taking a shower…" Bo sounded both indignant and slightly embarrassed.

"…I don't want you to see me like this…" Lauren didn't know if she had heard correctly, Bo's voice being so small.

"Do you want me to go get Kenzi?" Lauren really wanted Bo to say 'yes' to that question, she didn't think she could handle seeing Bo like that. _'For Christ sake, you're a doctor, and your patient needs help… get in there and help her!'_ Lauren's mind was screaming at her.

"No… I don't want her to see me either… and she'll never leave me alone again after this… please don't tell her… I'll be out soon… just wait…"

"Ok, I won't tell her, but I'm going to come in. I don't want you to fall and injure yourself further, please let me, Bo?" Lauren couldn't stop the pleading in her voice. She wasn't going to let Bo hurt herself again, however awkward it would be for either of them.

There was a long pause before Bo answered. "Ok…"

Lauren took a deep breath before turning the doorknob and hesitatingly taking a step inside the bathroom.

She found Bo sitting in the tiled shower space. Her knees pulled up under her chin, her hair and body wet from the shower. She had managed to turn it off but it had left her freezing.

Hadn't Bo been previously injured and if Lauren hadn't come here in the capacity of her doctor, this would probably have been a wet dream of Lauren's. But there was nothing sexual about this moment.

When their eyes met Lauren's heart broke a little. She had never seen Bo this vulnerable and uncomfortable. She quickly looked around for a towel and found one hanging on a hook on the wall to her right.

She moved quickly and kneeled beside Bo, wrapping the large fluffy towel around her.

"You're freezing, Bo. How long have you been sitting here?" There was only concern in Lauren's eyes. She softly padded around the brunette's arms to try and dry the woman off, careful not to brush up against any sensitive part of her body.

"I don't know? a little while…" Bo had trouble making eye contact with Lauren.

"It doesn't matter, let's get you up and back into bed, ok?" Bo nodded. "I'm going to put my arms around you and pull you up, try to help as much as you can, tell me if you feel worse…"

Lauren moved closer so she could put both of her arms under Bo's.

"You ready?" Another nod from the brunette.

"One, two, and three…" Lauren counted as they gently stood up. Once standing Bo started to wobble but Lauren held her steady, both of her arms now completely embracing her, as they stood face to face.

"You ok?" Lauren could feel the chilled skin of brunette's upper back against her hands.

"Let's put the towel around you…" She enveloped Bo further, now covering her up completely. "…hold on to me and we'll take it slow…one step at a time…" They began their journey back to the bed.

Once they reached the bed Lauren helped Bo sit down.

"Try to dry yourself off and I'll get you some comfortable clothes to change into…where are…?" Bo pointed at the large closet in the corner. Lauren walked up to it and opened the doors. It felt sort of weird to rummage through Bo's clothes but she pushed past that thought and soon she'd found a large t-shirt, some pajamas shorts and panties. _'I never thought I'd see the day when I touched Bo's panties…'_ She quickly disposed of that thought and turned back to the brunette who seemed to have dried off sufficiently.

"Is this ok?" Lauren showed what she had picked up.

"Yeah, of course, Lauren….thank you…" Bo still didn't meet Lauren's eyes; instead she busied herself in drying her hair with the towel.

When she reached for the pile of clothes Lauren quickly turned away from her, letting her get dressed in peace.

"Are you still feeling dizzy?" Lauren tried to think of something else rather than Bo getting dressed behind her.

"A little bit…" A few moments passed before Bo spoke again. "You can turn around now, Lauren." The blonde slowly turned and found Bo smiling at her. Finally feeling more comfortable it seemed, once dressed.

"Let's get you under the covers; you need to get warm again…" Lauren pulled the covers down and helped Bo get under them and tucked them up around her.

"Better?" The blonde was still busying herself with tucking the fluffy covers around Bo's shoulders and middle.

"Much better…" Bo smiled and placed a hand over Lauren's, stilling her actions and startling her at the same time, but it didn't make her pull away. Instead she sat down on the bed next to Bo.

"Thank you, for helping me… I really didn't want you to see me like that. You know I don't like feeling helpless…"

"Yeah, I know… you are a stubborn woman, Bo McCorrigan, I remember…." Lauren looked down at their joint hands and suddenly remembered the reason why she was here.

She withdrew her hand from Bo's, careful not to look in her eyes, stood up and went to grab her bag. She came back and sat down on the bedside again, but this time a bit farther from Bo.

"I came to examine you, and I can see you're still feeling dizzy and wobbly… which is not uncommon at all. But you need to be more careful… and less stubborn. You need to let Kenzi or I… help you. I really don't want you to end up at my clinic again with any more injuries…" Lauren tried to sound scolding but it came out all concerned and overprotective.

"So, I should call you whenever I need a shower you mean?" Lauren saw the familiar glint in Bo's eyes and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well, someone should help you, and if Kenzi's not home, and if someone else can't come… I guess you can call me…"

"Someone else? Ah, you mean like… _Sam_?" Lauren saw the smirk rising on Bo's face. "I do recall you asking me if he was my boyfriend… or did I imagine that?"

"It was probably all the morphine that made you hallucinate such things… for sure…" Lauren blushed and felt as though she was breaking her medical oath, telling a patient that she was hallucinating things but she had really thought that Bo would forget that conversation.

"Whatever you say, doctor…" Lauren saw that Bo wasn't buying it for one second but she was grateful that she didn't push it further.

To distract her, Lauren pulled open her bag, taking out her stethoscope and blood-pressure cuff.

"Are you warm yet?"

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Can you sit up for me, please? I want to listen to your heart and your lungs…"

She put the earpiece of the stethoscope in her ears and pulled down the covers slightly, placing the chest-piece on the left side of Bo's chest.

"Take a deep breath…good…" She then repeated this in the right side of her chest. She stood up and placed it against Bo's upper back.

"One more time, please." Bo took another breath and Lauren closed her eyes momentarily, listening intently. Again she repeated this on the other side of Bo's back.

"Ok, good, you can lie down again…your lungs sound perfect. I need to lift up your t-shirt to listen to your heart now, is that all right?" Bo nodded.

Lauren didn't lift it up so Bo was exposed, instead she reached inside, placing it just below Bo's left breast. Content she moved it up towards her sternum, listening for a few moments more.

She then withdrew it and put it back in the bag.

"Your heart and lungs sounds good. Your heartrate is a bit above average but I'm guessing it's more from seeing a doctor than anything else." Lauren smiled and grabbed the cuff, proceeding to take a blood-pressure. She complete missed the smirk that her comment left on Bo's lips.

Once she was finished she put the medical instruments away and proceeded to take a look at the stitched-up wound on Bo's forehead, changing the dressing as it had gotten wet from the shower.

"It's healing nicely. Whatever you do, don't scratch it… if you get an itch, apply some of this…" she reached into the bag and retrieved a tube. "It will calm the itch down…" She accidently brushed against Bo's fingertips as she handed her the tube, causing her breath to hitch. Bo and her looked down at their connection, both pausing for a moment.

Lauren felt the familiar panic spread through her and she needed to get out of there, her doctor-mode was quickly dissolving, like it did every time she was close to Bo.

So, I should probably go… call me if you start feeling worse or anything… here's my card." She flinched at the coldness in her own words; she placed the small paper card on the nightstand beside Bo.

Lauren stood up and closed her bag.

"Lauren, wait, could I… I want to…" Lauren turned to look at Bo, who seemingly struggled to find the words. Bo looked down at her hands, looking lost again. Lauren just wanted to reach out and hug her, but she didn't. Just as the brunette opened her mouth to speak again she was interrupted.

"Lauren…"

"I don't hate you, Bo…" Lauren surprised herself by the words slipping out of her, but she really did mean them. And by the look on Bo's face, it seemed to have stunned her into silence.

* * *

 _ **Bo's POV**_

 _"_ _I don't hate you, Bo…"_

The words, spoken so quietly Bo had almost missed them, had taken the air right out of her lungs. Bo looked up to find the blonde's eyes. The sincerity in them brought tears to her own.

"Really…?" She didn't want to sound so small but she needed Lauren to confirm it again, say it again. She was surprised by Lauren's actions as the blonde once again sat down on the edge of her bed.

Lauren took a deep breath and looked at her, tightening her jaw. Bo was suddenly very nervous of what the blonde was about to say, she swallowed thickly.

"I… no, I don't hate you. I can't…" The words, however softly spoken, were like coming up for air to Bo.

She suddenly felt a small spark of hope being lit inside of her chest. Maybe there was a chance for… something… Friendship? More? She didn't really dare to hope for more but this was an opening with Lauren that she never thought she would receive, she'd be damned if she would let it go to waste again.

"I really tried, you know… to hate you… " The blonde chuckled, bringing a small smile to Bo's lips. She didn't dare to interrupt the blonde, not now when she was speaking to her at her own free will. Bo bit her bottom lip to keep herself from responding. She saw Lauren's eyes momentarily flicker down to her mouth but as soon as it happened she averted them and looked out the window, continuing.

"And I really thought I did, for a long time… and then I'm here, on this island…. And _you_ … you're here, and you're in my clinic, and…" Bo couldn't help but think that Lauren looked so lost in that moment, rambling, her own words didn't seem comprehendible to herself. Bo wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around her but she was afraid that she'd scare her off.

"… You're just everywhere… " She laughed dryly. "And I realized that I've been carrying around too much… I don't know, just too much. " Lauren seemed to make more sense of herself now and she once again met Bo's eyes.

"You hurt me, Bo. You hurt Jack…." The blonde looked up towards the ceiling for a second then back down.

"And I don't know if I can ever fully trust you again… but someday maybe you will explain why you left, not today… I don't think I can… not yet…" The blonde shook her head. "I just want to say that maybe… _maybe_ , we can… I mean, _I_ can… be more friendly… towards you, I mean…. I don't want to avoid you, I don't want you to avoid me either… and I really can't stand the thought of you thinking that I hate you… because I… don't." She laughed at this, looking a little nervous, rubbing her palms against each other.

"I have no Idea if anything I just said makes any sense, I'm just rambling… I think I've wanted to say that for a long time… and now I've just gone and confused things…" She shook her head again.

Bo finally dared to speak, thinking it was time.

"It made sense to me…" She tried to smile at Lauren who looked back at her, hesitation in her eyes.

"You always made sense to me, Lauren, however you might ramble on, I always get you…" She gave the blonde a warm smile and Lauren took a deep breath, letting her shoulders down and seemingly relaxed. Bo was relieved that the blonde hadn't caught on the double meaning in her words.

"I mean, I think I do, anyways…" Lauren nodded at this which made Bo's heart flutter.

"Thank you, for… saying those things… and I want to explain, everything… there is an explanation…" Bo saw the fear in Lauren's eyes and continued. "But not today, as you said… but when you are ready, just say the word and I will…explain." Bo hoped that this was what Lauren had asked for, to be in control of when she received said explanation.

"And I don't know how it came to be that we are here, on this island, at the same time and us being connected like we are, through Kenzi and this place… but I am so…" Bo closed her eyes for a second.

"… _so_ happy to have you in my life again, you have no idea, Lauren…" Bo's every instinct told her to grab Lauren's hand but she refrained from it.

"I want to earn back your trust in me, and show you that I'm not the same person who walked out of your life… but I realize that I can't do that with words, I will show you… however long it takes… " Bo nodded slowly, trying to convey through her eyes that she really mean what she said.

"I really _did_ miss you, Doc…" She smiled at Lauren, using her old nickname for the blonde.

Lauren returned the smile, and Bo marveled at how it reached her eyes this time, warming her from the inside. They looked at each other for a few moments… until Lauren's voice broke the silence.

"So, we're… friendly?" A sadness Bo wasn't expecting entered Lauren's expression.

"I can't promise you anything, Bo… I can't promise that this will work… I can only promise that I will try…" Bo scolded herself for jumping the gun and getting ahead of herself.

Lauren hadn't really told her that she wanted them to be friends; just that she wouldn't avoid her if they ran into each other; there was a big difference between the two.

"Of course, I get it… I…" Bo looked down, the urge to cry suddenly hitting her, and at the same time she was angry at herself for getting her hopes up. She tried to smile for the blonde, but she still looked down at her lap, not really daring to look up at the doctor.

Then Lauren did something that surprised Bo more than anything.

She leaned in and pulled Bo to her, wrapping her arms around her gently, hugging her tightly.

At first, Bo was too stunned to move but as she felt the blonde beginning to pull away, she quickly woke up from the initial shock and returned the embrace, wrapping her arms around Lauren for the first time in… forever.

It felt magical.

Bo's chin was on Lauren's shoulder, and her arms securely locked around the blonde's waist; Bo knew that the hug had already lasted longer than any conventional hug should, but in that moment she didn't care. She just couldn't let Lauren go just yet. She dared to turn her head slightly towards Lauren's ear, and breathe into her long blonde hair, reveling in the sweet smell that was uniquely Lauren's.

She felt Lauren hug her tighter and it made her smile so much her face hurt. She was certain that the blonde could feel her heart beating wildly through her chest.

"I really missed you too, Bo…" She heard the words whispered into her hair right before Lauren started to pull away. Bo didn't want to let go but she knew she had to. She couldn't believe what Lauren had just told her.

Once they completely had let go of each other Lauren stood up, not really meeting Bo's eyes.

"You always gave the best hugs, you know?" Bo's heart melted at the blonde's words and she couldn't really believe her ears. She scrambled to respond, still stunned.

"Well, we fit together, like pieces of a puzzle… good for hugging…" She had no idea what she had just said but it earned a warm smile from the blonde so it couldn't have been a total disaster, right?

The blonde picked up her bag once more and headed for the door.

"So, friends, right?" Bo only nodded.

"And call me if you need anything, medically speaking… I mean… well, or friendly speaking… and I'm rambling again, bet you didn't miss that part, huh?" She chuckled and opened the door, saying a quick goodbye before closing it behind her.

 _'_ _You have no Idea, Lauren Lewis, how much I missed all of it… but I'll show you…'_ Bo wore a goofy grin as she snuggled back under the covers.

* * *

Walking the small distance back to her place Lauren replayed the event that had just taken place at Bo's house. Finding the brunette scared and naked in the shower, picking out underwear for her, listening to her heartbeat… telling her that she wanted them to be friendly… and hugging her, whispering in her ear that she had missed her too…

 _'_ _Wow, how that spiraled out of control real fast… What did I just do? The worst part is; I just want to skip the whole 'friendly and not avoiding' part and go right back to being friends…'_

That hug had made all of her pent up emotions just come rushing out. Feeling Bo's breath on her skin again, feeling her take a deep breath, knowing that the brunette had missed this too, of course not as much as she had… but they used to hug each other all the time back then. Maybe even Bo felt… something more?

 _'_ _No, don't go there; don't get your hopes up. You know where it will end up. Maybe she really has changed? But soon we'll be back where we were, with me longing for her and she will meet someone… what did I just do?!'_

* * *

 _You like? Did Lauren make a mistake by letting Bo back into her life? More interaction between our two ladies is coming up! Stay tuned!_

 _Take care!/mliess_


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm sorry for the long wait, I've had the worst man-cold and a lot of work on top of that, but I'm back with the longest chapter so far!_

 _I hope you can forgive me… :)_

 _Enjoy! /mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

 ** _Flashback, March 2003._**

Lauren had just finished up her classes for today and stepped outside into the freezing cold that was Boston in early March. She pulled her bag full of books closer to her body to keep warm but it didn't do much good.

"Lauren!"

She turned and found the source of the voice.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" She asked as he came to stop in front of her. She was surprised to see her brother there; to say the least. Things had been tense around the house for the last month, ever since the night her window had gotten stuck and she had made things awkward with Bo.

"I thought I'd pick you up and we'd have lunch together, at the Shake Shack perhaps? I know you like their burgers… what do you say?" He smiled at her and Lauren couldn't help her mouth watering at just hearing the name of the delicious burger joint. She knew that Jack was trying to reach out. She had not only been avoiding Bo, she had inadvertently stayed clear of her brother too.

"That sounds… great, Jack. You're driving?" She mustered up a smile but she knew that this was an intervention of sorts and she knew she couldn't get out of it; she could just as well get fed in the process. He guided her to where he had parked.

Jack had just swallowed the last of his meal when he spoke up.

"So, what's the deal? I hardly see you anymore… either you stay in your room or you're rushing off to study group or class. And you know I can hear you go into the kitchen to eat when we've gone to bed so don't give me that 'I'm not hungry'-routine again. You've been avoiding Bo and me; I just need to know why, Lauren?"

He was looking at her with sadness in his eyes. She didn't really know what to say, even though she had been expecting these questions ever since he'd come to get her, she still hadn't come up with a good answer.

Not getting a response from her, he continued. "Do you have a problem with Bo? Did you two have a fight or something?" Her heart constricted at the words. _'Or something, all right…'_

"I asked her about it before she went back to see her grandfather but she denied it, so please, just tell me…" He pleaded and Lauren knew she had to say something.

"No, nothing's happened. I just… have a lot going on at school and…" She bit her lip, trying to search for something to feed him in order for him to let this go.

"No, no Lauren, it can't just be school… you've always had a lot on your plate but you've never acted like this. You're like the smartest person I've ever known, like Einstein smart… you can handle it, there's something you're not telling me!" He threw his hands up in frustration. She suddenly thought of something to tell him, it would be a flat out lie but she couldn't very well tell her brother that she had a crush on his girlfriend. However, she didn't know if this lie would really fool him, but it was the only thing she could come up with at the moment.

"I've been… chatting with this guy I like… he's in my study group… James, and so… that's why I've been extra busy…" She looked up to see if Jack was buying it. He had a somewhat surprised look on his face. She needed to lay it on thicker.

"We haven't really gone out on a real date or anything but maybe… and it was too soon to tell you guys, and I knew I couldn't hold it in if I spent too much time around you… you always see right through me… so… I guess I might have been avoiding you a little bit. I didn't want you to make fun of me..." She gave Jack her most earnest face. She hated lying to him but this was the only way. In afterthought it would also be better this way, then there'd be no risk that Bo would ever realize how the blonde felt about her.

"Wow, sis, I had no clue. I mean, I… that's so great!" He smiled widely and reached across the table to pull her into a big hug. As they sat down again he continued.

"I mean, I always kind of thought you'd end up with some hot chick, if I have to be honest. I've never even once heard you talk about guys, at all… and both are cool with me, by the way. I'm on your side, always. But now, tell me more about this James guy…" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and smiled his signature toothy grin. At the same time as she was happy she had him fooled the same fact also saddened her. The last thing she wanted was to lie to her sweet, kind, brother but this was a white lie, right? Nothing good would ever come from telling him the truth.

Nothing.

 ** _End of flashback_**

* * *

 ** _Present Time_**

During the next week Lauren had been back to Bo and Kenzi's house twice. There had been no more hugs or emotional talks, but as they agreed they had been friendly and somewhat relaxed around one another. The visits had both been cut short as there had been a lot of work to be done at the clinic for Lauren. Brian had flown home to Dublin to visit his parents so she'd had to cover for him for a few days.

Bo had told Kenzi about their 'talk' and the younger woman had squealed out of joy, and then she had run off to get her iPad, googling for wedding dresses for the two of them. Kenzi was convinced that they would end up together, but Bo had no such illusions.

She had spent all these years, wondering if she had made the right choice running away, wondering if she should have stayed and explained to Jack, to Lauren.

But Jack wouldn't have understood, he would have thought that she was crazy and he'd never let her get close to Lauren ever again. And Lauren… she would've hated her for hurting Jack. There had actually been times when Bo really thought that she could see something in the blonde's eyes, something resembling longing within those beautiful brown soulful orbs. Sometimes she would catch Lauren look at her a certain way, but as soon as she saw it the younger woman always looked away. The last hours they spent together, all those years ago, she had seen it again, and it scared her more than anything because she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep herself in check much longer. The thought that the younger woman might reciprocate her strong feelings shook her to the core and she didn't see any other way than to leave.

Now, more than eleven years later, she had been given a second chance. Lauren was somehow back in her life and she would be damned if she let this slip through her fingers.

Bo had slowly been getting better but she still had a week of not getting to surf or doing anything strenuous; and she had grown a bit antsy.

Today was a good day. She had gotten up and gone down to their private Jacuzzi, putting on a black bikini and tying her hair up in a loose knot. Spending most of the week in bed had really made her muscles stiff and it felt heavenly to lower herself into the bubbly hot water. The sun had not yet reached this side of their house so the temperature was perfect and would be for about two more hours. She laid her head back and closed her eyes, reveling in the relaxing bath.

Kenzi had already left some time ago, her birthday was coming up and Hale and she was planning a big party two days from today. Well, if she knew Kenzi, it was Hale who probably had planned and fixed most of it, while her best friend bossed him around.

The silence was interrupted by the chirping of Bo's phone. She opened her eyes and picked up the device and looked at the screen. The initial frown she had worn from the intrusion suddenly turned into a wide grin.

It was a text from Lauren.

 _"_ _Hi Bo, are you home? Resting I hope? :) It's slow here at the clinic today, so I thought that maybe I could swing by and check on your cut? – Lauren"_

Lauren wanted to ' _swing by'_.

Bo was smiling wider now, if that was possible. They really hadn't had any time to talk about anything else but her concussion and recovery from it since Lauren had been forced to return to the clinic after only a couple of minutes. But something had changed during this last week.

Lauren had smiled warmly when she'd come into Bo's room; a real smile that had reached her eyes. There hadn't been any re-appearances of the ice queen since their talk. All of these things were small victories in Bo's book. She had rapidly grown addicted to the blonde doctor's presence, just like she had been all those years ago. Her heartrate increased just by thinking of the beautiful woman. She got so lost in her happy thoughts she almost forgot to reply.

 _"_ _Hi Lauren! Of course I'm home and resting…. doctor's orders if I recall! And I'm great at taking orders… Swing by, please! ;) – Bo"_

Feeling confident about her text, she pressed 'send' before getting up from the water and wrapping a towel around her frame. She headed inside to prepare for the arrival of Dr. Lewis.

 ** _20 minutes later…._**

Bo was just done mixing two refreshing watermelon shakes in the kitchen when there was a knock on the door.

She smiled and took a deep breath as she left one of the drinks on the counter, bringing the other one with her as she went to open the door.

* * *

 ** _Lauren's POV._**

The door opened and it revealed Bo, only wearing a white towel, coming together at her chest and giving the blonde a very nice view of her ample cleavage. Lauren's breath got caught in her throat.

As far as Lauren knew, Bo could very well be naked underneath. The blonde swallowed hard and blinked twice, thinking she just might pass out from the sheer vision.

"Hello Doctor Lewis, making house calls, I see?" The playfulness in Bo's voice brought her back to reality and she realized that she had greedily been drinking in the woman before her. Her eyes, who had been roaming around naked shoulders, arms and legs and… other things… snapped back up to meet Bo's who now had a devilish glint in them. Lauren realized that she had indeed been caught ogling the brunette and panicked, trying to divert the situation.

"Yes, and I was supposed to meet a patient here, one who weren't just about to drink alcohol at 10.30 in the morning… any idea where she is?" Lauren tried to sound dry but couldn't help but smirk, in fact, she was satisfied to have been able to form words at all at that point. Bo just rolled her eyes at that, stepping aside for her to enter.

"Come on in, Doctor…"

Once inside, Bo spoke again.

"For the record, this does not contain any alcohol at all. Here you go…" she handed the glass to Lauren who looked suspiciously at it before smelling it.

"Thank you, and… sorry, the doctor part of me never seems to shut up…" Rolling her eyes briefly, she did feel a bit guilty for assuming that Bo was irresponsible enough to drink alcohol while suffering from a head injury. In her defense most patients lied about such things, that's what they were taught at med school and she had learned it to be true. But this was Bo, who wasn't like anyone else in the world.

"It's ok, Lauren…" she winked at the blonde and motioned for her to follow her out on the patio. It looked a lot like the one Lauren had, with a submerged Jacuzzi to the right and a sitting area at the left, but their patio were somewhat larger.

Bo went to sit by the Jacuzzi, putting both her feet into the water, the towel still securely around her. Lauren took a seat in a chair next to the small pool.

She felt a little uncomfortable sitting any closer to Bo. She tried her best not to look directly at the brunette, Even clad in a towel Bo was frustratingly sexy and the second she had laid eyes on Bo today her mind had started to come up with these scenarios where it was imperative for the towel to come off; everything from a medical emergency to a bee suddenly flying into the white cloth, requiring Lauren to save Bo by tearing the piece of fabric off… possibly with her teeth.

Matters didn't improve much when suddenly Bo shrugged out of the towel, and Lauren caught a glimpse of what was hidden underneath.

She had just taken a big gulp from the drink and when seeing the laughable excuse of a bikini on the woman she had been crushing on for years, the drink went down the wrong pipe and she started to cough frantically. After the coughing had subsided she didn't know if she dared to take another look at Bo but she did. She didn't have the power to stop her eyes from wandering over the utterly revealing piece of clothing.

"Are you ok?" Bo asked with concern in her voice, but as Lauren's eyes caught hers she could see that there was a smirk hiding underneath that question, and Lauren could swear that Bo knew exactly the impact her non-existing clothing had on her.

Bo continued. "Come over here, kick your shoes off and put your feet in the water, it'll cool you down, Doc!" The smirk more evident on the brunette's luscious lips now, Lauren caught herself looking at her chest again, she closed her eyes quickly. _'Traitors… damn…'_

"Yeah, sure, why not…" Her voice a pitch higher than usual, she stood up and did what Bo had suggested.

She awkwardly walked over and sat down a good two feet away from Bo, on her right side, choosing an angle where she could avoid looking too much at her. She lowered her now bare feet into the cool water.

It had been a particularly hot week; the temperature's going in to the years highest. Lauren had spent a lot of time in the clinic during the day and most nights Kate and she had been cooped up in the lab. They had gotten a bit closer in one of their theories but yesterday they had encountered a minor setback. But she was still confident that they'd eventually find something to bring them closer to some answers. She had also spent a lot of time thinking about Bo.

She was still scared that she had made a mistake in bringing the woman back into her life. She was worried about her heart being broken yet again. And this time she would not be able to blame anyone else but herself.

Last time it hadn't been anyone's fault, it just happened, and it had utterly broken her. But this time, she had willingly thrown her heart into the gaping jaws that was the situation of being close to Bo McCorrigan. She was furious with herself. However; it did help ease her self-flagellation by sitting here, close to said woman, who was almost naked. Still, she was almost certain that this was a slippery slope that eventually would crush her again.

But at the same time, being close to Bo was slowly starting to heal her broken heart. She hadn't felt this whole in a very long time… it was all very confusing. She just knew that she couldn't stay away, and for now, she didn't want to. Tomorrow… who knew?

"So, how are you feeling?" Lauren asked the brunette, who seemed equally deep in thought. Bo looked up and smiled lightly at the question.

"I'm better..." she took a sip of her drink. "I ran up the stairs yesterday, too quickly, and got a bit dizzy, but it passes much more quickly now so it's getting better. And you'll be happy to know that I have now taken a shower all by myself, without falling down or even getting wobbly, yay me, right?!"

Lauren chuckled, but suddenly her thoughts were intruded by pictures of Sam helping Bo to shower… she shivered at the thought, hoping Bo didn't notice.

"Well, that's great Bo… And by the looks of it, the cut is healing nicely…" Lauren tilted her head, silently asking the brunette to turn her head so she could get a closer look. Lauren smiled; content by the look of it and averted her eyes down into the Jacuzzi, moving her legs slowly through the water.

"Soon you'll no longer be my patient…" The comment was meant to be positive but the air grew thicker with her statement and Lauren couldn't decide if she was sad about the fact that she wouldn't have a legitimate reason for coming to visit Bo any longer. Next time she wanted to see the brunette she would actually have to admit that she wanted to see her. She couldn't use the Doctor-card as an excuse anymore.

"Well, you know… I'll still be a klutz; I'll probably fall and hit something else soon and end right back in your capable hands, Doctor…" Lauren couldn't help but smile at the thought of Bo being clumsy, and the fact that the brunette had managed to make that sentence flirty. She had been doing that a lot lately.

That was one thing that had changed. When they were younger Bo hadn't been like this, right? Or had Lauren been too naïve and dorky to catch on?

Lauren chose to ignore the flirty tone Bo had set, she didn't know what to make of it really, and she definitely didn't want to get her hopes up. Instead she looked up at the brunette, concern in her eyes.

"Bo, I need you to promise me that you'll be careful. I don't ever want to relive… _that_ … again. You really scared me…" Lauren felt silly for her emotional words, and she berated herself once again for letting Bo know how much she really cared about her. But when it came to Bo, Lauren's brain had never been in control… her heart was in the driver's seat and she was starting to come to terms with that, almost. She saw that her words had struck a cord with the other woman who was biting her lower lip, seemingly deep in thought.

"I promise, Lauren." The look in the brunette's eyes conveyed so much emotion it almost scared Lauren.

"Good, thank you…" The blonde nodded slowly. A somewhat awkward silence fell over them as they stared at the small waves the movement of their legs created on the water. Suddenly Bo spoke again, almost scaring the blonde.

"So, you're coming to Kenzi's birthday party on Saturday, right?" Lauren looked up to find Bo staring at her expectantly.

"Well, I'm…."

"You have to come, there's no way Kenz would ever forgive you if you didn't show… sorry…" Bo wore a faux disappointed expression that made Lauren chuckle.

"Do you really think she'd want her personal physician there to watch her get, what I can only assume, utterly wasted, and do you really think I can withstand the urge to scold her for it? I'm not sure I'm that strong…" Lauren tried to sound dramatic and Bo laughed.

"Well, doctor… the only solution is that if you got equally wasted and then I'm sure you could withstand… anything…." Bo winked at the blonde who blushed instantly, for what reason she didn't really know, but it was just the way the brunette said the words. She made everything sound so… sexy and dirty.

Bo continued. "And as you've made it abundantly clear, I am not to drink in the foreseeable future; I will take it upon myself to get you home safely in one piece after a wet night…"

Lauren didn't know how to deal with this onslaught of images that appeared in her head just by thinking about the implications attached to that sentence. She knew what Bo had meant but the tone in her voice… Lauren had to shake her head slightly. _'Am I going crazy or is everything Bo saying dripping with sex? Maybe I have a brain tumor? In my hypothalamus, perhaps? That makes everything I hear sound like a sexual innuendo? That must be it…!'_

"Well, how can I refuse an offer like that?" Lauren spoke in a low tone of voice, her lips curling up in a sideway smirk. She actually surprised herself with that response; it was very unlike her to flirt openly like that. She rarely flirted at all, and she had never been any good at it, it always came out sort of awkward and forced… but somehow; with Bo, it just came naturally.

"You don't…" Bo was now wearing a wide grin from ear to ear. Lauren realized that she was mirroring the smile.

"So, I can _swing by_ and collect you at 7 pm and we'll drive there together, does that sound ok?" Somewhere Lauren heard a warning bell go off but she ignored it and nodded.

This was beginning to sound awfully a lot like a date but she told herself that it wasn't. Last time the two of them had been at a party Bo had gotten engaged to her brother.

There was probably a very small chance that this would be worse than that… so that was one thing she could take comfort in. The second thing was that she would actually get to spend an evening with Bo. She both longed for and dreaded to see Bo all dressed up. Though, the sight of her sitting so close, only clad in a small bikini, was not so bad either. As Bo checked her phone which had just beeped, Lauren took the opportunity to slowly drag her eyes over the brunette's gorgeous shape. Bo had really grown into her body since the last time Lauren had seen her in this stripped state. All though she had been tremendously beautiful back then, it was nothing compared to the way she was looking now.

All those years ago, Lauren had been crushing on a girl.

Bo was now a woman, in the purest definition of the word; an undeniable sexy, confident, woman.

Her toned legs, luscious curves, taunt flat stomach and full breasts was almost too much for Lauren to take in, and unwillingly she was getting more aroused by the second. She quickly looked down as Bo put the phone away and turned back to her.

"That was Kenzi, she wondered if the _patient_ needed any food… can you tell her that I'm fine? And that I'm allowed to go out to an actual restaurant now? I don't think I can handle her lousy cooking much longer… I might not survive!" Lauren laughed at the pleading seriousness in Bo's eyes.

"Yes, I will tell her. But you are still supposed to take it easy, no running around… and no surfing." Lauren gave her best warning expression and Bo softened her expression of terror when thinking of her best friend culinary experiments.

"I promise… thanks…"

"So, we should probably take those stiches out, I brought my things, come with me inside?" Lauren withdrew her feet from the Jacuzzi and motioned for Bo to follow her inside.

* * *

 ** _Bo's POV._**

Again, Bo wrapped the towel around her, but this time she put in around her hip. She had noticed Lauren's eyes drifting towards her chest a few times during her stay and Bo didn't mind at all. In fact, she loved the way the blonde was throwing sideway glances at her. It made her think that maybe there was a chance after all. Maybe Lauren was attracted to her. Her gazes and the blush on her cheeks certainly spoke volumes about…something… however well Lauren tried to hide it. Or maybe it was just scientific curiosity? Bo couldn't be sure but the fact still remained that if Lauren was looking; Bo would certainly not let a towel stand in her way.

Bo couldn't help but adore Lauren's facial mimics when she was in deep concentration. She was currently biting the tip of her tongue while sitting on Bo's living room table. Bo was seated on the couch facing her, and she was trying to hold as still as possible while the doctor was working on her forehead. And it proved to be really hard sitting so close to the gorgeous woman.

Bo hadn't covered herself up because she thought she'd throw the blonde off her game a little but sitting here, a couple of inches away from a deeply focused Lauren Lewis - a deeply focused _unbelievably sexy_ Lauren Lewis; her little game had actually backfired.

Lauren had been nothing but professional, not glancing down at her chest even once. Bo was a tad disappointed really. But she'd soon forgotten all about that when the blonde had gotten to work. Bo got lost in the curve of Lauren's lips, how her jaw twitched and when her tongue had briefly darted out to moist the corner of her mouth, Bo almost swooned.

Oh, how she loved Lauren's face. Her eyes travelled down her neck and to her throat. _'Wow… she has the most beautiful neckline… I just want to place my lips all over her jaw and down to her shoulders… along her chest…. Oh, god, I can't think about kissing her! Oh no, I'm blushing! What is happening?! I never blush… I wonder if she can tell? Who am I kidding, she's removing stitches in my forehead, of course she can tell! And she smells so good… I can't even… I need to tell her how I feel….'_ Bo looked up at Lauren, trying to catch her eye, but the doctor was too focused on her work to notice.

 _'_ _Ok, maybe not right now… but I can't do this much longer… my heart physically hurt just by sitting this close to her… just like that night… but what if I tell her how I feel and she never wants to see or speak to me again? Can I really risk it? Now that we've finally gotten on speaking terms again after all these years… should I really spring this on her now? I have to give it time… give us time… I can do that… for her. For her I could do anything…'_

Neither had said one word until Lauren announced she was almost done.

"So, there… just one more stitch to go…" Lauren withdrew her hands holding the instruments and observed her masterpiece that was Bo's forehead.

"I will be very surprised if you can even see that scar in two weeks' time!" Bo chuckled at the pride that was in the doctor's voice.

"I guess you really are _that_ good, Doctor Lewis…" Bo tried to shake off her previous internal battle only to throw herself into another round of light flirting. She still didn't want to scare Lauren away but she couldn't resist what was in her nature.

Bo had always been great at flirting. She could usually get away with anything with a brief display of her dimples. However, with Lauren she had to tread lightly, and she didn't think she'd ever been this nervous talking to anyone. But this wasn't just anyone, this was Lauren.

 _Her_ Lauren.

When she was flirting she usually wasn't all that serious, she hadn't been serious about anyone in a long time. But for the first time in forever there was a lot at stake. For the first time there were true and honest intentions behind her words. That was also what was making her so nervous.

"I guess I am…" Lauren smiled and turned to put her things back into her medical bag.

"So, what do I owe you, Doc? Lobster dinner, back rub?" Bo flinched internally for just going against her new rule of treading carefully.

Lauren chuckled and eyed her suspiciously. "Hm, I usually don't get paid in seafood but maybe I'll make an exception…. I'll let you know." Bo couldn't decipher the look in Lauren's eyes as she stood up, a little too hasty and grabbed her bag. She turned and took a few steps towards the door.

Bo closed her eyes, hung her shoulders and sighed, thinking she had just blown it, scolding herself for it. She expected to hear a 'good bye' from the blonde before she left the house. She finally dared to look up at the retreating woman. She found Lauren standing a few feet away from her, observing her with a curious eye.

"So, you'll pick me up on Saturday? At 7 pm?" Bo only nodded. _'Maybe I didn't blow it after all… she still wants me to get her for Kenzi's party…'_

"Yes, of course…" Bo bit her lip, preventing her from saying anything else. _'Don't flirt… don't flirt…'_

She gave Lauren a small smile, which the blonde returned before she turned for the door again. Opening the front door Lauren spoke up once more.

"Oh, hey, what do I get for Kenzi? As a birthday gift, I mean? I'm guessing she's got everything she wants and needs..."

Bo laughed at this.

"Booze. Any kind. Wrap it up and hand it over to her… she'll love you even more… I don't see how she could adore you any more however…but if you give her liquor, her adoration for you might reach a scary level…" Bo winked, again not being able to _not_ flirt with Lauren. She was pretty proud of herself with inadvertently giving Lauren a compliment by using Kenz as a proxy.

Lauren nodded and smiled. "Oh, thanks for the tip… Scary level, really?" They both laughed at that and once again Lauren turned to leave.

"Oh, and thank you, you know, for removing the stitches… and making me pretty again…" Bo pointed to her forehead and looked at Lauren gratefully.

"Bo, I don't think there's anything in this world that could make you unpretty, let alone a small cut… but you're welcome." Bo was floored by her comment but she didn't have time to respond before Lauren continued. "I have to get back to work now… I mean, this was work, I know, you're a patient… but work-work… the clinic, I mean…" Bo smirked as she realized that she wasn't the only one thrown by the blonde calling her pretty. And watching Lauren blushing and ramble like that was totally adorable. She saw Lauren visibly gulp, trying to hide her blush.

"So, Bye, see you Saturday." She was out the door before Bo even had time to answer her.

* * *

 _Sooo... the pieces of their past are being revealed... Did Lauren make the right choice, lying to her brother and Bo about dating someone?_

 _And what do you think will happen at the party? Will 'After hours-Lauren' make an appearance maybe? ;)_

 _I will travel to New York next tuesday for a couple of days' vacation but I will try to give you one more chapter before then!_

 _Take care! /mliess_


	15. Chapter 15

_So, here's a quick update, please forgive me for any errors, I'm leaving for NY in 3 hours :)_

 _I hope you like it!_

 _/mliess_

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

 ** _Flashback – August 2003._**

"So, who wants pancakes?" Bo was struggling. Struggling to make pancakes, struggling to act normal in this fucked up situation she had gotten herself into.

Six months had passed ever since things between Lauren and she had gotten weird. After the night they spent together, sleeping in the same bed, their relationship had gone from a warm to frosty one, at best. Lauren had dug herself even deeper into her studies, being the top of her class at every single assignment and test. She spent most of her time at the university and when she was home she was mostly cooped up in her room, only coming out for dinner. After Bo had returned from visiting her grandfather in March, Jack had told her that the reason Lauren had been so distant and withdrawn was that she had met a guy in her class and had been afraid to talk about it with the both of them.

Bo had felt like the wind had been knocked out of her but had tried to keep it together in front of Jack. He seemed so happy for his younger sister and he had asked Bo to talk to Lauren, maybe give her some dating-tips. She had felt nauseous at the thought but tried to smile and nod at his suggestion.

The first time Bo saw Lauren after that had been even more awkward than ever before as Bo had tried to sound positive and supportive at Lauren's new potential relationship. Lauren had shook her head and told the brunette that they really weren't dating yet, just chatting and spending time between classes together. Jack had just then walked in and told his sister to ask Bo for pointers during her future 'intimate' moments with James, and Bo had suddenly felt the need to sink through the ground and disappear. Lauren had a similar look on her face and so they both went back into their separate rooms and never spoke of it again.

The atmosphere in the apartment had gone from frosty to uncomfortable and awkward. Bo didn't really know how to deal with the fact that Lauren might soon be in a relationship with someone who wasn't her. It was painful and embarrassing to admit to herself that she in fact was jealous. The thought of someone else touching Lauren made her irrationally irritated and it drove her even further away from Jack. After that it had been Bo who had started to avoid Lauren. She knew it was unfair and that she was a hypocrite in every sense of the word but she just couldn't help it.

A while later, as the three of them were having dinner, Lauren had announced that she and James had decided not to pursue a relationship. That they both knew that after school was done they would probably move to different sides of the country and would have to break up anyway. So, this was more practical for the both of them.

Bo had released a breath that she didn't even know she had been holding. She had thought that the blonde was particularly distant when talking about the break but didn't comment further.

Winter had turned to spring and suddenly Lauren had completed her first year at med school. Bo had been both distraught and relieved when the blonde told them that she was going back home to San Francisco to live with their parents during the summer.

Bo had tried to take that time, with Lauren gone, to really focus and invest in Jack and hers relationship. She desperately tried to fall in love with him again, but as summer was ending she realized that it was a lost cause. Her heart belonged to Lauren. There was no denying it any more.

When Lauren finally returned to Boston to start her second year at Harvard, Bo was torn between sitting both Jack and Lauren down and telling them the truth, or running away. She ended up doing neither.

Bo discovered that she was finally breathing again. Lauren was in her life once more, and this time there were no weirdness between them. The summer they'd spent apart had magically washed it away.

And for a while, that had been enough.

Bo had gotten up early this Sunday morning to make them all breakfast. She knew that both the Lewis siblings loved pancakes so that was what she was making, or at least tried to make.

"Last call… who wants delicious pancakes?" She had a nice stack all piled up by now and tried to wake up her roommates. Jack responded first with a growl, walking into the kitchen and planting a kiss on Bo's cheek and soon he was sitting at the kitchen table, knife and fork in hand, ready to devour the treats.

Just as Bo set the plate filled with pancakes in the middle of the table Lauren appeared. She was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she sat down on the opposite side from Bo. Bo didn't think that the blonde could get any more beautiful than right at that moment. She was wearing a white pajamas shirt with matching pants and as she caught Bo's eyes she smiled.

"Thank you Bo, this is amazing…" It warmed Bo's heart to hear the blonde praise her. It had been so long since they had exchanged anything but the mere necessary words in order to cohabitate.

"Dig in!" Bo encouraged. She sat back to observe the two siblings as they threw themselves over the offered food. They were so much alike but still so very different. Why couldn't she just love the one she wanted? The one she was supposed to love?

Jack was so handsome, and he treated her like a queen. She knew that he would do anything for her and her heart broke just thinking about what it would do to him if she ever told him the truth. She realized in that moment that he never stood a chance. She had already met Lauren before he ever came along and asked her out. Her heart was already taken, even back then. She just didn't know it yet.

She turned her eyes to Lauren. She had opened the morning paper and was probably reading some article about something important, while absentmindedly eating her cut up pieces of pancakes with her fork. Bo briefly wondered what it was about the blonde that captivated her so.

Was it the fact that she was the smartest person she had ever met? That she had more compassion in her little finger than most people have throughout their entire body? Was it her quirky and nerdy humor that always made Bo laugh? That the simplest touch of her hand upon Bo's made her soul soar with happiness? Maybe it was all of these things, and infinitely many more.

"You've outdone yourself babe, this was fantastic!" Jack reached over and pulled Bo into a sweet kiss. Bo couldn't help but cast a glance Lauren's way, only to find the blonde looking away at the display of affection.

Once Jack pulled back he turned to his sister.

"So, what are your plans for today, sis? If you're not planning to sit the whole day with your nose in a book, maybe you'll join me and Bo for a little drive to Revere Beach? Get some sun and maybe even go for a swim? What do you say, it'll do you good!" He nudged his elbow in her side and she rolled her eyes at him.

Bo suddenly panicked when she realized that if Lauren decided to come, she would be wearing a swimsuit of some kind… maybe a bikini…. _'Oh, no, I can't handle that, and I was doing so well not thinking about her naked… this will set me back… hours…'_

"All right, all right, I'll come… stop elbowing me, crapbag…" Lauren's answer seemed to please Jack who smiled at Bo proudly, thinking he had made a good decision inviting Lauren to their little day-trip. Little did he know that he had made things that much worse.

 ** _End of flashback_**

* * *

 ** _Present time_**

Lauren opened the examination room and let the small boy and his mother walk through. She followed them out into the waiting room where she squatted down in front of the boy.

"Ben, can you do something for me?"

"Yes, doctor Lauren…" The six year old boy agreed.

Lauren pulled out a small stuffed turtle out of her lab coat pocket and showed it to him.

"Could you take care of Mr. Turtle here? Just like you, he sprained his wrist and needs to take it easy for a little while… maybe the two of you can take care of each other?"

The boy's eyes went wide when he saw the green fluffy toy; he tentatively reached out to take it from her.

"Yes, I will take care of him…. I promise!" She smiled at him as she stood up and ruffled his hair a bit.

His mother turned to Lauren and thanked her again, shaking her hand in the process.

"Bye Ben!" She waved at them as they went out the front door of the clinic. She watched then for a while before turning back, heading for her office. She stopped as she heard a familiar voice.

"You're really good with kids, doctor; did you actually put a brace on a stuffed animal's wrist?" Lauren smiled and turned to the source of the voice. Bo was sitting behind the front desk. "Do they teach that in med-school too?" The brunette grinned at Lauren who wasn't late with a comeback.

"Well, it depends… Do they teach breaking and secretary-ing in programming school?" Bo laughed at this.

"Secretary-ing? Really Lauren, you're such a dork!" She continued laughing amicably. Lauren soon joined in. When it subsided their eyes met and Bo continued. "I'm so glad nothing's changed in that department… you're still adorable… well, adorkable, really…" She winked at Lauren who rolled her eyes in return.

"No, really, did you see the way that kid looked at you, I'm certain he's got a crush on you! Doctor Lauren…" Lauren chuckled at this. "Well, I love kids, and when I am able to help them… there's no better feeling in the world… and when I can't help… well, you can imagine…" Lauren shook her head to shut out the images of the children that she wasn't able to save. She didn't want to forget them, but right now was not the time to break apart.

Bo stood and walked up to the blonde, placing a hand on her upper arm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… you know… "

"I know, Bo, it's ok. So… While I'm happy to see you, you didn't injure yourself again or anything, did you?" Lauren's eyes searched over Bo's body, content when she found no apparent injury.

"No, no! I'm all right. I was just passing by on my way to the grocery store. Thought I'd stop by…" Bo released her hold of the blonde's arm. She looked around the clinic for a second before turning back to Lauren. "How are you, busy day?"

Lauren was happily surprised by Bo's visit. Tonight was Kenzi's birthday party and the blonde was actually looking forward a night of fun. It had been ages since she even had set foot at a party. Mostly the events she went to were stuffy award ceremonies and gatherings after her lectures. She suspected that tonight wouldn't be a stuffy gathering. Knowing Kenzi, there would probably be strip-dancers and conga lines. And all though it scared her enormously to step outside of her comfort zone; she was somewhat looking forward to it.

"I'm fine; it's been a slow day actually. Before little Ben came in with his sprained wrist I treated a lady who had cut her foot on some coral… so, nothing out of the ordinary. Kate will be here any minute to take over for the day."

"Oh, yeah, because you're going to a fancy party tonight, right…" Bo smiled widely and Lauren couldn't help but wonder why the brunette was so happy that she was coming tonight.

Well, who was she to complain, she was excited to go there with Bo. She knew she shouldn't but she felt safe with Bo. However insecure she was about small-talk and being a total nerd at a party she somehow knew that Bo wouldn't leave her somewhere standing all by herself. That feeling should have evaporated when Bo had left all those years ago but the trust Lauren felt for the brunette was evidently still there.

"Yes, and I have no idea what to wear! I haven't really been to something like this in a long time. If ever really…"

Bo smiled sweetly at her. "I'm sure that you'll be gorgeous in whatever you wear, Lauren." Lauren didn't know if she heard Bo correctly. She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, yet again. She then saw Bo's eyes wander down her body and then she spoke up again.

"You could even wear that lab coat; it's amazingly hot, actually..." Bo continued to observe her and Lauren had to look down at her feet, she felt her cheeks burning and her heart was pounding. Where were all these compliments coming from? She glanced back up at Bo who suddenly seemed to realize what she had just said and Lauren was astonished to see a blush on the brunette's face. _'This is a first… I never thought I'd see the day when Bo McCorrigan blushed!'_

"I mean…" Bo looked positively shocked at her own words and Lauren had to stifle a laugh. Bo was just so cute right now, the blonde decided to let her stew in it for a little while longer.

"Thank you, Bo, I'll consider wearing it, one quick question though; should I wear something underneath or just go naked? Which is hotter?" Lauren demonstratively opened the coat to show her clothes underneath. She could see the wheels turning in the brunette's head who finally caught on that Lauren was messing with her. She shook her head, smiling at the blonde.

"Ha ha, funny…. I stand by my words though, the doctor look is hot, but a dress will also do tonight… whatever you decide will be fine." She said a bit indignant, a small hint of her blush still evident on her cheeks. Their conversation was interrupted by another voice.

"I agree; the doctor look _is_ hot on you, Lauren." Kate appeared and stepped up to the two women, smiling. "And you must be Bo, hello! I'm Kate Swanson, Lauren's colleague." Kate reached out a hand for Bo to shake which she did.

"It's nice to meet you, Kate." Bo said politely. Lauren could sense some weird vibe in the room; she got the feeling that the two women were too polite with one another. She saw the muscles twitch in Bo's jaw.

"I saw you when you were staying here after your accident, but I never got a chance to introduce myself." Kate continued, having now released Bo's hand. "I hope you've recovered nicely?"

"Yes, Lauren has been taking good care of me, I couldn't ask for anyone better." Bo smiled a little too sweetly at the red head in front of her.

"No, that's certainly true…" Kate looked at Lauren. "There is no one better…" Lauren could swear that Kate just winked at her. This was getting weirder by the second. She needed to get out of there, or at least get one of the two women away from each other. If she didn't know better; she could have sworn that there was some kind of cock-fight going on. She panicked and interrupted the staring contest between the two.

"So, Bo, I will see you tonight, I really need to get some paperwork done… so…" she hated that she tried to get Bo to leave. But since Kate just got there she couldn't very well ask her to leave.

"Yeah, sure, I need to go anyway. Yes, I'll pick you up later, I look forward to it..." Once again, Bo touched Lauren's arm and smiled, leaving a warm feeling that spread throughout her whole body. She swallowed and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yes, I'll see you then, it was sweet of you to stop by…." They held each other's eye for a second longer before Bo said good bye and left. Lauren looked in her direction for a moment then nodded at Kate and walked towards her office. She didn't even know what to say to Kate after that awkward encounter.

She had just sat down behind her desk when she heard the door to her office close. She looked up only to find that Kate had followed her.

"You like her, don't you?" Lauren didn't know how to respond to that question, she must have looked like someone who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. She tried to brush her off.

"Bo? Sure I like her, she's a friend." Lauren tried to sound casual and looked down onto the papers in her hand.

"Lauren, I've known you for a long time. I've never seen you like that. You're body language tells me that you really like this _Bo_." Lauren could practically hear the distain in Kate's voice as she spoke; she closed her eyes for a second. _'Damn Kate and her observatory skills!'_

"Ok, I might have had a small crush on her in high school, but that was ages ago. Meeting her here again after all this time has seemed to bring back some of those memories. Nostalgia, I guess…" Lauren was hoping that confessing some of the truth may satisfy the older woman.

"So, you have no feelings for her anymore?" Lauren swallowed hard and shook her head. "Ok, if that's the story you're going with, Lewis…" Kate lifted up her palms in surrender and smiled secretively.

"I'm sorry if I pried… and acted a bit overprotective before, I just…. I don't want you to get hurt… and this Bo, she feels like trouble."

Lauren observed the red headed woman. She seemed so sincere, still she had not right to come in here questioning her about her personal life.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but thank you, Kate." Lauren tried to sound dismissive so that the other woman would leave her alone. It worked and Kate just nodded and turned to walk out of her office.

* * *

 _Sooo... The party will be next... I will update next week... and until then, please review! ;) xoxo, mliess_


End file.
